STRUMPET❗️

My BFF: Let’s both read “Bury Our Bones in the Midnight Soil” I am not sure if she knew it was full on saphic vampire fiction… or did she? 😏

gm

We have always been here.

"In a time when love had to hide, joy still found a way to shine.
They weren’t out, but they were together—arms draped, hearts full, laughter echoing louder than fear.

Here’s to the quiet rebels who made room for each other long before the world was ready."
#LGBT

That sounds really amazing. That and a really good martini sound like a epic Sunday night at at this point. 🍸

Jealous!

A Penske truck in the Home Depot parking lot has Fuck ICE spray painted on the side

Penske getting some love in the Home Depot parking lot

It’s weird how strongly I feel about my long time Twitter/social media friends. I will say ‘I love so and so!’ Even if we have never met. 💓

To cap it all off my husband’s on again off again partner, finally fully ended their 4 yr relationship. She did it over wings and beer, so -respect. But also bitch, I don’t want him you were supposed to take him!

It’s been a rough couple of weeks. My work might go under leaving 13 people jobless. I got shingles from the stress of that situation for the second time in my life, which apparently is highly unusual. I want to be ‘special’ but not like this.

I must’ve been happier when I was on Twitter back in the 20-teens. My heart was black, but lately it is a very unfunny black heart. Or have lost my voice, not sure which is true. 🖤

Making Sunday dinner for my adult children and their partners like some sort of 1950s housewife

It’s actually pretty fabulous. I don’t hate it. 💖

"hold that thought, i'm gonna go make some popcorn."

-me, as a therapist

I am ‘is that a new mole or tick?’ Years old.

Just discovered that Cpap is not a disgraced rapper.

son, emo never dies, unlike your hamster

This week, I’m hosting The Daily Show Tuesday through Thursday.

It’s my first time hosting anything on TV. Ever.

I’ve spent years writing behind the scenes, learning from truly great and talented people. Now, for three nights, I get to sit at the desk and do it myself.

Photo of a cute-looking beige hamster stretching forward with one paw. Above, it says: "Did you know, there are 18 species of hamsters? To learn more about hamsters, go to xhamster.com" Don't

a lush green field with flowers and trees in the background Alt: a lush green field with flowers and trees in the background. Dipsy runs past as if pursued.

I run out of prescription Drugz today.

They are not kidding. It’s full of ring camera footage of anyone & everyone they suspect of doing any number of things. But only if they are not white.

The Waffle House lost and found is just a jar of loose pills and teeth

😘

"still punk as fuck," I whisper as I am very nice to people all day

guy in a red hat and red shirt with his hand out with the text “let’s unlearn fatphobia together”

Ed Teach from OFMD season one, grinning happily under his full beard

Not enough full beard Ed Teach on the timeline, so (be the change you wish to see etc etc) (plus look at his crinkly little eyes and nose and ahhhh)

The only Trump health update I want to see is him being hauled out of a McDonalds in a body bag.

Today in Poly land:

Your trans girlfriend’s creepy dude friend slides into your DM’s and asks if they have permission to ‘party’ with her.

Dude, she told you no already. Don’t be that guy.

My ‘parenting’ bank account has been overdrawn for a while. But 17 almost 18 needing unreasonable amounts of attention every workday in the home office has cashed the last check…