seven rasmussen

gaining popularity with my new students by being knowledgeable about various yaoi pairings in media

- Chinese Calligraphy (really enjoyed the poetry exercises)

five not-physics classes i enjoyed:

- Russian Literature (introduced me to Zamyatin’s “We”)
- Asian Art History (cool! i can recognize the Jomon influence in the art styles of BOTW/TOTK)
- Notable Concerts of History (Medicis to Woodstock!)
- Mandarin Chinese (can’t speak, can pronounce names)

every time i go to the doctor i tell them i have had a hysterectomy and every time i get results back there’s always a negative pregnancy test in there

normally i don’t endorse hinge shaming but this is actually a COPYPASTA i’ve seen going around so it’s especially heinous

hinge message that says Hi pony club singing, farmers dog subscribing IT girl, let's get matcha lattes and eat tiramisu so I can feed my Leo need for performative validation from a lady that looks sweeter than 100 blueberry ethically baked vegan muffins

jail

the realest shit i’ve ever heard

sign that says heaven scent laundry but the s is missing

Heaven Cent is my drag king name

thank you so much 🥲

thank you!!

in december of 2021 i took a call from princeton. i was sitting at my girlfriend’s kitchen table in our apartment outside tacoma. i was still at my first postdoc at u. michigan and my name wasn’t even seven yet. i had no idea what the next four years of my life would hold. it’s… it’s a lot.

cover page proof that says CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF STARSHIPS by seven rasmussen, princeton university press

i’m not crying YOU’RE crying

what is zohran mamdani’s plan to get me my faculty email before classes start

or Brightspace. Because of this, we can't meet over Zoom tomorrow. Tragic, I know, because we all love Zoom class so much. Anyway, even though I believe in snow days, the CUNY system does not, so I am legally obligated to supply you with asynchronous work. Please watch the two

professoring real good out there 🫡

mr mamdani please put a hat on 🙏

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.

1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.

2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

ahead of the Big Snow i have never seen more ubers in bushwick than this

always humbling when a single glass of wine ruins my next day, really reminds me that i am from potato europe and not tomato europe 😔✌️

jpg doesnt quite express what i’m going for and i refuse to use AI so use your imagination to visualize ms frizzle going super saiyan

ms frizzle on the magic school bus but with laser eyes

finally teaching again and classes start monday so im back on my Dr. Frizzle bullshit

the cover for CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF STARSHIPS is going to blow your tits clean off when you see it fyi

look. zines can have a no simultaneous submissions policy. OR they can have a several month turnaround time. but they CAN’T have BOTH 💀

LOUD GASP

dating hack: if a man asks for your thoughts on the notion of free will you can clip straight to being dropped off without fanfare by describing the field of philosophy as being “largely masturbatory”

a silhouette of a person with their arms outstretched surrounded by glowing lines ALT: a silhouette of a person with their arms outstretched surrounded by glowing lines

how it feels to hear Clarity by Zedd in the club for the first time since college

much respect to the woman whose zoom profile picture was a thirst trap though

my divorce was finalized today so i had to virtually appear in court. which seems fine. except that they put all the couples getting divorced in the same zoom room for the hearing. and let me tell you you’ll NEVER experience more atrocious vibes than virtual divorce court.

three books stacked with three candles on top

tattoo tribute to my first three books!!

1) CLOUDY WITH S CHANCE OF STARSHIPS (science non-fiction, Aug 2026 via Princeton U Press)

2) THE COSMOLOGICAL ESCAPADES OF ASHLEY ALCHEMY AND LEMON LOGICA (middle-grade science fiction, looking for beta readers!! 2027?)

3) [UNTITLED ADULT SPACE OPERA]

Blue background with yellow, orange, and teal accents. Picture of a Hartzell Gray, brown skin and black hair, wearing a blue vest over a white shirt. And a million dollar smile! Text reads: You are invited to join us for A Fundraiser for Hartzell Gray Get Tickets here: tinyurl.com/hartzell-zoom SUNDAY | 1.25.26 3:00 - 4:30 PM RSVP for the Zoom Link Join us for a zoom fundraiser hosted by a collective of long COVID survivors and activists coming together in solidarity for change. Enjoy an afternoon of music, and community while supporting Hartzell Gray's campaign for Missouri's 4th Congressional District. This is movement rooted in justice, dignity, and people power. Come connect, and stand up for a Kansas City that puts working people first. Chaired by: Amanda Finley Dom Kelly HARTZELL FOR CONGRESS MO-04 HartzellForCongress.com Paid for by Hartzell for Congress

Hey, y'all! Come join me on Sunday, Jan 25, at 3 pm Central for a virtual campaign fundraiser for @hartzell.bsky.social! We'll be focusing on disability justice, and I'm proud to co-host with @thetattooedjew.com.

Let's rock this vote and get Hartzell to DC!

if you’re a tenured notre dame professor and you’re thinking about screaming at me in the DMs here’s your chance to know i’m going to screenshot and post it this time