Scott

[insert "The Padres have slayed the dragon...AGAIN!" clip from 97.3 here]

This screenshot is relevant two days a year.

Tweet San Diego Padres #VeteransDay unis are game-ready! 🇺🇸 7:05pm 26 May 18 1 retweet 6 likes

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The Miracle Mile Shopping Center in Chicago, once considered our Nation’s BEST, now has a more than 28% vacancy factor, and is ready to call it quits unless something is done about the murder and crime, which is prevalent throughout the City. CALL IN THE TROOPS, FAST, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE! “Just the News”

Call in the troops to solve the commercial real estate crisis in our swanky downtown cores

You can’t make this shit up, folks

Muhfucka said “expanded and de-spanded”.

Trump is a Juggalo.

The Padres Hire Craig Stammen as Manager YouTube video by San Diego Padres

The comments, oh boy howdy. www.youtube.com/live/ikycKR5...

it's not as bad as Xitter, but every day this app introduces me to people I'll be glad never to hear from again.

"Don't pick up. Don't pick up. Don't pick up. Don't pi--"

"Goddamnit, there are 12-year olds in Venezuela getting signed by other teams right now!"

I'm no legal expert, but...

Wake up babe, the new "Lucy holding the football" meme just dropped.

Big "Stepdad Trying to Discipline You for Staying Out Past 10pm" energy here.

"Hey, that's not the wallet inspector."

Chuck Schumer fighting:

Like, Daryl Strawberry? That one came out of the blue.

I was under the impression that the President mostly pardons people at the end of his presidency. So, Trump doing it whenever it seems to strike him tells me that he might think he's not going to live another 3 years, which gives me a very slight degree of comfort.

Trump is 30 points underwater. Dems swept the special elections. People know the GOP is responsible for the shutdown. So the Dem Senators pulled out their big guns... and shot themselves in the foot.

a cartoon girl in a blue dress is kneeling in a field holding a bag ALT: a cartoon girl in a blue dress is kneeling in a field holding a bag

Senate Democrats who keep believing GOP

We’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas!

The Democratic establishment:

agreeing to make a terrible deal while your main opponent is quite literally being boo'd on live tv by an entire stadium of people is the kind of political instinct you'd normally only find in a 3 week old dead goldfish

Even whatever supporters might have been there have to be thinking, "What is this shit? I came to see concussions."

I'm just trying to figure out why he's reading a pledge to a stadium full of people who aren't there to see him at all.

Need more people to agree that we are holding the *party* accountable. We will not survive decades more of this respectability politics where "good" dems will not speak out against their own. Call your "good" senator and tell them if they don't speak out you will not vote for them again.

Hey, @schiff.senate.gov, your voicemail is full. And @padilla.senate.gov, yours just hangs up at the end of your outgoing message.

Fix that and hold the line against the Republicans.

Mandani is going to implement Oh Sherrie law. Everyone should've been gone, long ago, far away.
youtu.be/5-WpsdC2-Cc

“the planes also don’t have engines” really feels like a metaphor here

Oh, there's at least one firetruck involved. Just heard the horn.

A bunch of police sirens going off and a police helicopter circling over the neighborhood. Sounds promising.