Tyler Gooch

Just got confirmation that, since they discontinued the penny, you now have to say "One hundredth of a dollar for your thoughts" smh

If I can’t leave the Hotel California why would they even let me check out? So they can turn my room over and have me just loitering in the lobby and using the computer in the business center for eternity?

This is great

A Newsletter of Humorous Writing by Luke Burns & James Folta A weekly newsletter dedicated to humorous writing and humorous writers. We round up the best short humor pieces and funny articles every week, and have some fun extras ever...

In this week's newsletter, @jamesfolta.com and I round up great writing by @worldofktebs.bsky.social and @tylergooch.bsky.social in @mcsweeneys.net, Freddie Shanel in @reductress.bsky.social, & a quiz from @nygroove.nyc.

Check it out, along with our complete archives, and subscribe below!

So, You and the Pope Both Showed Up to This Party Wearing the Same Hat Anytime you arrive at an event dressed similarly to another guest, things can feel a bit awkward. But the Vatican is notoriously secretive. You had...

Latest in @mcsweeneys.net plz read immediately
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/so-...

I’m Excited to Join Your Run Club for All the Right Reasons I don’t expect to meet anyone by joining your Club, but I wouldn’t be upset if someone asked about me. Has anyone asked about me yet?

New Run Club humor in @pointsincase.com !! Thanks for the pub @jamesfolta.com !

www.pointsincase.com/articles/im-...

If You’re Anything Like Me If you’re like me, you also have compassion and empathy. So when you realize the traffic is because of a major collision, you go from frustrated to concerned.

New from me on @pointsincase.com

If we’ve learned anything from Biden and now trump it’s that the next president needs to be even older

Is there a law that says your signature can’t be bubble letters? Thinking about making some changes

Can’t believe they let the mascots do one handed pushups after touchdowns now because of wokeness

Several minds currently creating versions of the horny copypasta for this just in case

Updated Syllabus, Revised After What Happened Last Semester Course Overview This course is designed to introduce students to classic literary works. Class time will be primarily discussion based. Those discu...

New from me @mcsweeneys.net
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/upd...

Thinking about becoming one of those guys that has a lot of money but no one is really sure how or where he gets money from.

Kid just asked me if “anyone was born in a year that starts with 19 instead of 20.” Heartbreaking

Has it occurred to anyone that maybe the falling birth rates aren’t because of lifestyles or increased cost of living but because fewer bugs are living lives that earn them reincarnation as a human?

Socrates: I see AC/DC, but is it not still a long way to the top even if one does not wish to rock and roll? It seems the length to the top is not then dependent on one’s desire to rock and roll.

“You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead hands,” I tell the officer pointing to the corner where a pair of severed human hands hold my gun pulling off a hilarious sight gag before being arrested & convicted of being The Hand Lopper, a serial killer known for removing his victims hands

Family is gathered, waiting to watch the last great part of America: Mr. Joseph Gordon Chestnut

Cotton Eye Joe bravely asks only two questions throughout the song and successfully answers neither.

What about doing Henny Oldman and Gary Youngman? Something to think about.

The movie should’ve covered more of the struggle Pinocchio no doubt had trying to get a social security number or any sort of birth/citizenship papers.

Brevity, the ability to convey ideas quickly and efficiently, without a lot of extraneous words or explanation, is the soul, the essence, the building block, of wit.

It’s funny that NYC makes it everyone’s problem when they have to pick a mayor. I barely know the LA mayor, I only know the Chicago mayor when she wears comically large suits. But every time there is an NYC mayor election we all hear about how corrupt the eventual winner is.

Matthew McConaughey serving as the bailiff in a court just before the judge enters: “all rise, all rise, all rise”

To the Dad Coaching Third Base, Wearing a “Women Want Me, Fish Fear Me” Hat One hat, two independent claims, three bases, two outs, and zero energy from you, the third-base coach wearing a hat that alleges, WOMEN WANT ME, F...

www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/to-...

Excited to be back in the newsletter of humorous writing this week!

Shoutout the old guy at the bar before this show for giving me several Polish jokes I am “free to use if you want.” Then smoothly seguing into telling me how much he loves women.

Important reading

Are Reese's the only candy that wears underwear or are there others I'm not thinking of?

Not saying I think he's bad, but I didn't have a first round grade on this pope. Could have probably gotten him a few rounds later. Feels like a bit of a reach to me.