daniel winn

This didn't work AT ALL by the way

The nicest thing you can do as a person is hire a skywriting plane to write "I love you Mohammed" because that's the most common name so it will do the most good

Every movie should have a making of movie made about it and that too should have a making of movie made about it

It must be wild being a Republican. Literally no beliefs other than a burning desire to have a bigger, more confident man tell them what to do.

no more lookalike contests please

One thing that was nice about the early 2000s is no one cared about video quality

I wonder if Rick Perry still says oops or if it's too painful a memory

What bothers me about the fatwa for salmon Rushdie is they’re not supposed to read the book. I’d want to at least read the book if I’m going to murder the guy

Haven’t gotten any compliments on my new Venmo profile picture

I could not in good consciousness work for words with friends (plagiarism)

I just said my name (Daniel) and this guy thought I said Kayden. That’s life I guess

a real life metropolitan (1990) "kafka-esque"

His teammate just punched a guy

I don't think i've ever heard a wonderful life opinion that's held my interest

I have another suggestion for something my friend should talk to her therapist about

I think bald people should wear wigs non-covertly, just when the feel like it

I've never had an ulterior motive in my life

ain’t there too many heads in the world?

@rianjohnson.bsky.social love the ishtar reference in wake up dead man

I think ted talks are where everything started to go wrong

Shakes are not in the category “drinks and shakes” at Burger King by the way.

What was Santa doing before Rudolph; just flying blind? That doesn’t make sense.

I've never met a shy person from new jersey

My bartelby the scrivener recommendations aren't getting the traction I would like them to get

My great grandfather was the first person to ever parallel park. People called him crazy but he didn’t care

There’s nothing I hate more in this world than meetings

"Like a tomato-based ketchup."

Just brushing up

unfortunately I would be too good at taskmaster and ruin the show

Scheduling texts is such a thrill