Max Davis

Save The Prince Charles Cinema The future of the iconic Prince Charles Cinema in London’s West End is under serious threat! We are beyond disappointed that our landlords, Zedwell LSQ Ltd and their ultimate parent company Criterion...

Lets save this amazing place from becoming another empty apartment you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/sa...

Do you think air looks at water and thinks “nobody has to remind people to take more of me you dummy”?

Apparently Matt Gaetz has promised to go after everyone on Santa’s naughty list

But what about Mambo First Blood Part 2?

Dear me in 6 months,

You stupid bitch. You never learn.

Sometimes it feels like nothing I scream in couples therapy is helping

Ep 2 of Legends of Comedy now on Channel 4. Featuring the amazing Sally Phillips and written by me and Lenny Henry! Enjoy the blurry picture of my credit that only took 11 tries to get right

I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I’d paid attention when subsequent song lyrics were mentioned

This job paved the way for me to become a full time comedy writer or as my 3 year old calls it “looking out of the window all day again”

All in condoms and strapped to his chest like a horrible suicide bomber

Looking back I shouldn’t have auditioned dressed as a cat and wearing roller skates

RFK wants to give him a swirly but he can’t until he gets the fluoride out of that toilet water

[crooning]

L is for the way I lick your peen
O is for the orgasms you scream
V is very very slippery wet and hairy
E ejaculate in ropey streams across my butt
And LOVE is what we call this thing we do
LOVE is sweaty fun for 3 or 2
More than 3 can make it but it gets more complicated…

[crashing your wedding] “wow this place is a real echo chamber.”

ME: President Kennedy! I’m from the future, to warn you your nephew will grow up to enable a dictator!

JFK: Okay, anything else I need to worry about?

ME: I don’t know man, I’m not really a history buff

The worst thing to happen to a Kennedy in a vehicle, since JFK drove through Dallas

Got called into HR for being too handsome and charming again. Those weren’t the words they used, but I can read between the lines.

Yup

Haha, that’s good. I saw someone reply to Gervais with “we need people to disrupt the bubble on here” and it made me feel incredibly tired.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot today. This pathological need to make everywhere immediatey shit

Lenny Henry’s Legends of Comedy starts tonight on Channel 4 at 8:15pm Written by me! 👀

When I make that little signing gesture in a restaurant, I’m not asking for the bill, I’m encouraging the waiter to finish their screenplay

I mean, anyone can just say things can’t they? I’m going to put a pumpkin on Venus in eleventy staples. See it’s easy

I’ll be in so much trouble

In cumine patris, et filii et spiritus spunkti

DOCTOR: Please rate the pain between 1 and not getting cast in the school production of Oliver

I’m actually a member of Pillow Fight Club. But I’m not supposed to talk about it

Aw man, I love the Sonics!

The only way to dispose of a used Q-Tip that has landed behind the toilet is to burn down your entire house.