Owen Parsons

A Lock Screen screenshot of a dog

Every day is a marvel

Hell yeah here's the good stuff

All the nominations being announced this week make much more sense if you imagine them set to off-key carnival music; a withered man hunched in the corner playing the bone-white keys of a dark calliope

I see we are once again in the "behold my marvelous cavalcade of freaks" stage of governance

fundamentally this is what Trump administrations are all about: the guys. there will be new guys every week. they will startle you, you'll be astounded by them, and then as quickly as they appeared they will fade into an indistinguishable mass, leaves on the forest floor.

Penguin was great but could have used more scenes where a crook called in sick to the crime meeting because a guy in bat armor whipped his ass last night.

Political Experts: we mustn't rush to assign blame for this election loss, it will take months of analysis to truly understand where democrats went-
Me: (spinning giant WHEEL OF BLAME) it's BISEXUAL CATHOLICS WHO DON'T TIP

Actually kind of impressive to write a tweet about something wicked that's coming this way and still not stick the landing.

YouTube video by Steps Of Faith Foundation "HOT TO GO!" (Chappell Roan cover) • "Weird Al" Yankovic & Will Forte • THUNDERGONG! 2024

From now on, Will Forte and I are just gonna be a Chappell Roan cover band.

America voted, and it's official: Captain Crunch is Mario's dad

When you join a new social media site but don’t want anyone to get mad at you

We spent this past election night watching the movie Ever After, which turns out is pretty fun even when you pause it every five minutes to receive psychic torture from your phone

Aw, nuts

Is it okay to post on here