MJ Flo

⬆️ this. Def this.

This will require a 12 month contract. Good luck with that. I don’t even have my full schedule for spring yet.

The only way you know this stall is for dudes is when you close the door and squat to pee.

Gotta write a police report today in Holland. I’m going to complete that police report and then put it as a CV line in publications for my FAR. Because that’s how insane this abroad trip has become.

Fun fact, we are in the midst of Benjamin—a Dutch hurricane-ish. So windy that the windmills aren’t running because it’s too windy.

Updating my LEGO White House

Important things I learned the hard way about Dutch culture: you must finish your appetizers fully before they will serve your dinner. Hence my 3+ hour dinner last night.

The golden ratio layed over top of an orange cat sleeping in a loaf

This is the ideal female body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

Apparently there’s cross fit for dogs?

Shared on the train today:

The Netherlands is 10/10 in my book. Taking students across the world isn’t for the faint of heart. But I think we are beginning to get more cohesive…and how you may ask? Assignments that require memes…see below.

Taking 10 students to Europe on a study abroad today and made the mistake of mentioning extra credit for anyone that can collect pilot trading cards and…there are FIVE PILOTS ON THIS FLIGHT 🤦🏻‍♀️

I know I don’t have to…I’m just waiting to see the product.

If I was on day 18, I’d be staging all these like elf on the shelf around the house.

May we all find the joy today that Adam found in a dessert hot dog.

LOL midterm grades are due at noon tomorrow and the Internet is down on campus and none of our assessment portals work on or off campus. There’s NO WAY people will get grades in by noon. Imma gonna have chocolate cake and watch a scary movie.

There is peace to be found at conferences—I was there a few years ago and found a table hidden near that gazebo and it was so nice to just chill (I couldn’t afford to stay on sight though!)

Oh you got a 10/10 room—I’m jealous!

Anyone wanna go to the Meth Church with me this weekend?

a gray whippet puppy with white on her paws, tummy, and snoot and blue eyes sits in a living room with a gray couch behind her. she's giving us an innocent expression and the teensiest hint of a blep with her pink tongue. we're looking up at her from a low angle, so it seems as if she's towering over us.

This is Rosie. She doesn't have a bad angle, but prefers this one because it makes her look tall. 12/10 (IG: whippyrosie)

Why are people putting blue cabinets and teal tiles in their kitchens but refuse to wear anything but beige? Y’all know it’s way cheaper to upgrade your wardrobe in two years when trends change than a kitchen?

They also can just dub Gritty dancing over the video to Rick James.

I can’t wait until they stage the American Doll version of the future ICEhole version of the Nuremberg Trials.

Best part of teaching Gen Ed music history. The way I roared…

It’s dark. So yes

Oh and now he’s giving away military information—fabulous. No one needs to know our fucking inventory you dumb fuck.

I don’t understand why we need a “Columbus Day” when this country celebrates incompetent white men failing up and taking what isn’t theirs all year round.

Not Yam tits making it all about himself…

I greatly look forward to bringing students to The Hague next week, “and this here is where every ICEhole will eventually go to trial. And they won’t be staying in a hotel as nice as ours.”

The 400 richest Americans are now worth a record $6.6 trillion.

The entire bottom 50% of America is worth just $4.2 trillion.

Read that back.

When 400 people control more wealth than half a country’s population, we have a very serious problem.