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Every young person sentence online reads like this to me now:

"Bro entered low-stim flow state doing a 10 min grocery rotation and got mogged by a friendly neighborhood cat 💀 Is proximity-maxxing essentials while touch-grass-pilled more optimal than suburb-meta carbrained bulk errands?"

A poster for the movie Wakefield.

A poster for the movie Jumper.

A poster for the movie Chips.

A poster for the movie The Loft.

Films that sound rubbish if you're British.

Also I found out today that someone has very blatantly copied from me and I have to laugh about it or I’ll take my earrings out

I have really tried with that platform but I just can’t walk the tightrope between relentless gobshite proffering self-serving begs dressed up as ‘advice’ and dry corporate craic very well

a cookie monster from sesame street is smiling and looking at the camera ALT: a cookie monster from sesame street is smiling and looking at the camera

Put a post on LinkedIn earlier after my friend made me realise it’s good to remind people I’m still professionally alive. Did a quick write up of something I made about a year ago and just noticed a typo about half a paragraph in.

Lesson learned, stay unprofessional and say nowt 🤦‍♀️

Started a rewatch of Spaced last night. No regrets

Iron Man meme, edited, Obadiah Stane yelling, "Your ancestors made timeless art in a cave! With berries and ash!"

"I need AI to make art, human art is only for the rich and privileged-"

Exactly! I’m 5’3 and it just looks like I’ve had a roll around at the Jacamo factory

12 has also been a relentless pain in the arse this morning so looking for the positives before 8:30am

Got some “oversized” joggers on that I got for my birthday and I look like an actual clown but 12 assures me “it’s the fashion”

Yards of tripe etc

<unintelligable noises and internal screaming>

Transfer deadline day. The footballing equivalent of when you go to Aldi for bananas, bread and sausages but come back with a leopardskin egg cosy, emergency frying pan and an inflatable gnu.

I can’t even keep track of how much heinous shit seems to be happening in my lifetime

The absolute gall of this though

Money-Coutts by name

Thank you!

And a majestic one at that!

Canny little day today, did a whole lot of nothing and only had one wobbly “I’m so old” moment 😆 gave all the rugby girls a cupcake and they sang to me which was cute and a highlight despite it peeing down with rain, they’re good kids

Thank you!

a seagull is eating french fries on a plate with a fork and ketchup on the table ALT: a seagull is eating french fries on a plate with a fork and ketchup on the table

Yasssssss thank you queeeen ❤️

Yayyy thank you!

Taaaaaaaa PARMO

@axmn.bsky.social

THE BIRTHDAY CLAYPOLE

Along with “marry early”

The 9-9-6 thing is arguably the worst part of this let’s be honest

Genuinely can’t be on course to see 30

Gorgeous pair! Thank you❤️

What a beauty!😍

Anyway, it is my birthday, send memes and pets 🎉