@countsmackula.bsky.social
grouchy 80 year old at heart
Beer and taco night and if youβre not
Down were not compatible
Please, call me Oingo. Mr. Boingo is my father.
02.11.2024 00:37 β π 42 π 7 π¬ 0 π 0A hammock is a terrible place to give or receive bad news.
01.11.2024 20:30 β π 304 π 73 π¬ 3 π 6The secret to life is spaghetti. And to have zero expectations. But mostly spaghetti.
01.11.2024 22:24 β π 140 π 45 π¬ 5 π 0if the taco truck starts playing music and canvassing the streets like an ice cream truck Iβm cooked
02.11.2024 01:19 β π 44 π 8 π¬ 4 π 1Iβm at the stage in life where most human interactions feel like work, unpaid work
19.10.2024 13:22 β π 111 π 29 π¬ 1 π 2Crazy that people still buy ringtones. If my phone vibrates too loudly, I give everyone in the room a dollar.
19.10.2024 12:19 β π 642 π 86 π¬ 15 π 6Missing my bat friends at the sanctuary.
19.10.2024 03:08 β π 34 π 8 π¬ 3 π 0surrender to my blade, peasant
19.10.2024 04:45 β π 23 π 8 π¬ 1 π 0Food critics are wild. How you gonna bully spaghetti?
22.09.2024 23:59 β π 128 π 40 π¬ 4 π 3I donβt want to be part of the class action lawsuit but itβs nice to be invited
23.09.2024 01:10 β π 140 π 43 π¬ 8 π 0I stick to what I know and that ain't shit.
Stay humble.
oh you think its funny that 300 iq males are crashing their teslas & being cooked alive by some weird type of fire thats immune to firemen
22.09.2024 10:27 β π 8903 π 1848 π¬ 98 π 47if I drink 7 beers i will surely not be sad that there are classes in the morning. i see no downsides in this plan.
22.09.2024 21:15 β π 16 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0I know itβs difficult to watch our parents age and my mother has reached a point of no return. Today, I found her watching JAG
08.08.2024 01:41 β π 145 π 30 π¬ 10 π 0Horse watching the human steeplechase: Yeah man, you fucking do it. Not so easy is it? I hope you get hurt and they have to put you down
08.08.2024 00:45 β π 135 π 29 π¬ 2 π 2me: come on.
my ai-powered washing machine: no.
me: please?
my ai-powered washing machine: no.
me: why not?
my ai-powered washing machine: it looks terrible on you.
Ever since I was a little boy I wanted people to stfu
05.08.2024 01:16 β π 44 π 16 π¬ 0 π 0making my dog listen to call of the wild on audiobook so he knows what a soft life he has
02.08.2024 20:48 β π 44 π 3 π¬ 1 π 0doctors tell you not to put q-tips in your ears because theyβre hoarding all the good feelings for themselves
21.06.2024 16:16 β π 60 π 13 π¬ 1 π 1What yβall up to over here?
20.06.2024 02:12 β π 9 π 1 π¬ 4 π 0would you still love me if i dragged my ass across your carpet?
02.03.2024 16:42 β π 20 π 10 π¬ 2 π 0Iβm actually better than most people I just donβt want anyone to know, thatβs why I act like this
07.02.2024 02:08 β π 14 π 3 π¬ 0 π 0God will never give you more than you can handle, unless you were born in the wrong place or don't have money. That makes god super mad.
01.07.2023 22:03 β π 1163 π 341 π¬ 18 π 9oh gods, make it stop
25.01.2024 21:37 β π 4 π 2 π¬ 0 π 0
