Ali Panting

Me and my esteemed newsreader colleague @hellsbells.bsky.social will be hosting a very serious and important alternative topical comedy gameshow tonight (Wednesday) at Grub in Manchester. We suggest you grab a ticket and join us www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/eat-the-ne...

🚨 DATE CHANGE ALERT 🚨 this was going to be tonight but has been moved to 16th July, please still come along if you can make it thanks love you bye x

WE WILL FEED YOU METAPHORICALLY WITH LAUGHTER

Worms probably say that about us and running

Fresh from the #ukarias win, don't miss the latest episode of #theskewer, Liability Lineker and The Eurovision Fishing Rights Contest.

The news remixed. Welcome to The Skewer. Headphones on.

📅 Tonight
⏲️ 23:15
🎧 @BBCRadio4

This meeting could've been a kiss on the forehead

I'm watching the Parliamentary debate about the self-ID e-petition and my JAW IS ON THE FLOOR.
The MPs speaking are hitting ALL the key pro-trans talking points:
- transphobic bias in EHRC
- nightmare of SC ruling
- toilet bans are awful
- must hear trans voices
- IGLA rainbow map

1/

um this is going to be amazing

There’s nowt as queer as folk 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

It was a quote from the scientist carl sagan in ‘the demon haunted world’ published in 1995

This is so bloody clever and funny and insightful. Should be compulsory listening on standup courses

told my cockney mate I was pregnant with the world’s tallest land mammal, she said ‘you’re having a giraffe’

This is an excellent listen

This is so sad, sorry for your loss Jon

Ring king bang long things

POV: your kid’s reading homework is a Grindr bio

we’re all here for a very short time, just do what makes you happy and don’t be a dick

Blood donor appeal There are spaces to donate blood at some of our city centre venues.

🚨🚨🚨

(Don't usually do this kinda thing BUT)

BLOOD STOCKS ARE CRITICALLY LOW.

If you can, give blood. ❤️

www.blood.co.uk/news-and-cam...

This feels like a question for famous nature expert @hellsbells.bsky.social

A sheep that changes colour to match its background like a chameleon

Like a pony

She wasn’t there at the bar at the end of the night

Absolutely obsessed with both of these moments and I cannot pick a favourite #TheTraitors

Leanne saying ‘think it could potentially get a bit spicy’

That feeling when you and your partner have smashed a bottle of rose in front of 50 shades darker #TheTraitors #TheTraitorsUK #TraitorsUK #Traitors

Freddie with subtitles ‘let’s be having it’

Drunk Delia’s famous half time moment

Freddie channelling Delia is the best #Traitors twist so far #TraitorsUK #TheTraitors #TheTraitorsUK

A joyful discovery in Vondelpark Amsterdam 😃

A photo of Jake Jarman OR IS IT FREDDIE

The swiftness with which this series became a feminist death cult needs to be studied. I ADORE it. #TheTraitors #Traitors

Leanne’s secretly a soldier, Charlotte’s secretly not Welsh, and Freddie is secretly Team GB gymnast Jake Jarman #TheTraitors #Traitors #TheTraitorsUK #TraitorsUK @teamgbofficial.bsky.social

Alexander on the Traitors saying ‘A lot of heat? Oh I thought some’

My dad when it’s minus 7 outside and he catches me near the thermostat #TheTraitors #Traitors #TheTraitorsUK #TraitorsUK

My friend @hellsbells.bsky.social’s substack is essential and hilarious reading, please get involved open.substack.com/pub/helenbro...

Message from neighbour saying pavements are treacherous

Message from school saying pavements are treacherous

Absolutely love how much treachery is featuring in messages to me this morning. It’s like I’m in a WW2 spy drama and the pavements are secretly the Gestapo

Reminder “oh my god, Becky look at her butt” passes the Bechdel test.