davidpm

SACOL (socially awkward chuckle out loud)

After hearing how eating too much sugar and carbohydrates affects the human body I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to

If you start Titanic tonight at exactly 9:47:15, you’ll ring in the new year as that one guy slams into the propeller as the ship sinks, the perfect metaphor for how 2025 is probably going to go.

Can we all agree that the week between Christmas and New Year’s is a liminal state of anarchy—where rules don’t apply, calories don’t count, and pants are optional? Time is meaningless, leftovers are infinite, and pajamas are the official uniform.

The post christmas hangover is real. so is the alcohol hangover. They're different but the same.

Guess who wants this photo banned from the internet? Please like and repost! 😉😘

One of my favorite parts of peeling an orange is pulling out the little butt plug.

"Russet Revelry" #AIArt #Christmas

This is for the dads. If you're not a dad, you can keep scrolling.
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Hey! This is a reminder that your wife's stocking isn't a decoration. Go buy some shit for that thing.

"Why is there so much traffic today?", I say, as I am actively traffic.

It's giving... rice pudding.

This episode of Bluey is called "Emergency Room"

Beef Wellington is just a corn dog from a different socioeconomic background.

Are gingerbread houses made of flesh or are gingerbread people made of house?

Only fans but where someone shows me how to be an adult without anxiety instead of their butthole.

It's crushing my crushing anxiety.

"the weight of wayward wishes" #AIArt

You know you're a millennial when you have to pause your holiday drinking game for a group round of Tums.

First day of winter break with a 3 year old and 5 year old. I'm not gonna make it.

Alf does like to eat the cat.

"The End of Yule" #AIArt #StableDiffusion #ChristmasArtSeries

#BabTheBooster List!: @bab102.bsky.social @therainbownavy.bsky.social @jennzen0.bsky.social @calvinonthebeach.bsky.social @patti3333.bsky.social @arriadna.bsky.social @wordswithsteph.bsky.social @lunaluvgood2020.bsky.social @tizzywoman.bsky.social @roguecitizenone.bsky.social #Oh #Please #Repost

"Snow's Gentle Silence" #AIArt #StableDiffusion

Costco is a hellscape of Black Friday madness but people are being chaotic over toilet paper instead of a flat screen TV.

This is the science we really need.

Cool. Another thing to add to my boycott list.

Brand new photo just dropped