Newtato

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god, give your toughest battles (tummy hurts) to someone else I’m not your strongest soldier

I feel bad for people who have broken their elbows in the time since vine. Especially if they mention it around me. I’ve become the coldest most heartless wench towards broken elbow victims in the last decade

Thinking about how unfortunate it is that we’ll never get to hear Selena as a Disney princess she had the perfect voice 🙁

The bxtch really sells it 😂

Sick of toxic masculinity. Im inventing toxic androgyny. What’re my pronouns? I don’t wanna talk about it! God! Leave me alone! You’re always doing this to me! Shut up, bxtch! Aaaand SCENE:)

clause =📝

Claus = 🎅

claws = 🐈

You look like the mean girl in an 80s movie that eventually cracks the slightest smile when they look at the main character at the end and I really mean that in the best way 💜

JOSEPH: got any rooms

INNKEEPER: no

JOSEPH: i want to see your manager

INNKEEPER: okay but i think it’s pronounced “manger”

You all MOCKED George Lucas and said this was boring or dumb but who’s laughing now???

I’ve had that issue since I was little 😅

type shit

I miss watching Home Alone 2 and not knowing who Trump is

Rosanna Pansino would play a really good Glinda I think

Tintin strikes again.

I'm never going to have a better use for this meme.

I hope all of my fellow Americans are doing okay. I hope you have people to talk to and vent to about this situation. I am so sorry for all of this. 💙

don't let punching Nazis fuck up your hands, stay moisturized and wear impact gloves

follow me for more recipes

Idk that sounds delectable

Fr with a big ol cherry at my door step

Frfr cauliflower crust tastes way better than I thought it would

Yall I just had a guy I’m talking to make me a playlist of songs I remind him of and now he wants me to add songs that remind me of him 🥹 is this what a blossoming relationship feels like?

Fantastic

I’ve got the hot to go song parody that goes 🎵t-o-o-t 💨💨💨🎵

Thank you I will boop accordingly 🫵

I’ve really had to force myself to reach out to the folks I love 😅 I try to do it at least monthly and give myself a little treat when I do bc it’s very anxiety inducing! Today I got a cherry chocolate for reaching out to an old friend. 😊

Taste like the scent

Happy birthday!!! I hope you have all the birthday pickles you want!

Narrowly avoided boarding a plane that wound up crashing. Whatever, all smooth sailing from here 👍🏼

as much as i appreciate and enjoy the times i've tried chinese food as it's actually eaten in china, like twice a year i need a styrofoam container filled to the brim with vegetable scrap lo mein and fried general tso food dye red chicken glop so bad it's unreal