Gareth Corn

Feelin real smart for forgetting to turn off my sprinklers last night

I'm adding "advancements in granola bar technology" to my presidential platform. How is it in 2025 we still can't make a granola bar where the chocolate chips don't fall out and onto my pants?

Colorado Rocky

I’m actually just like Tim Robinson in The Chair Company

Stay off the 183 westbound express lane in Irving

buddy I am right there with you tonight

Del Rancho and Johnny’s Charcoal Broiler onion rings are the things I miss the most about Oklahoma

Why on earth would Miami not kick the 20 yd, go-ahead FG in a tie game, 90 seconds left, and the Washingtons with no time outs left?

AIDS and cancer? What a tough break

Did you see how they were dressed?!?

I don't even get it

I mean, everyone already knows he's a pedo....if he's still trying to block it, there must be something totally insane

What about Scott Baio?

something tells me that the folks who have been crowing so hard about human trafficking the last 6ish years are going to be eerily silent about the subject now

They’ve made The List

KBJ threaded the needle thanks to CA1’s unfinished business.

-if she denied the admin stay, the full SCOTUS woulda stepped in to override her.
-if she immediately referred the case to the full Court, they coulda dragged feet.
-instead she boxed them in to act quickly once she does refer the case.

“Pee is stored in the balls”

Did the baby vote for mamdani?

cops talk like this in ALL their group chats. All of them. Why do you think these guys were talking over Signal?

sounds like we have a potential Bruno Bike sitch

*If* we get another prez, he should just tear it down and start over

This Friday at Lava Cantina

can't wait until this vax is sidelined because "cancer is god's will" and we shouldn't be playing god

Rocker and Chuck Morgan should've carpooled together to the capitol on Jan 6

don't normally rt the nyt, but these are things we need to be thinking about

when my co-workers try to "poke the lib" into talking politics, I remember that stupid people aren't stupid because they don't have access to the information or haven't heard the right explanation. They're stupid because they're stupid, and nothing's gonna make em not stupid

so i guess the long term healthcare plan is to become an incel comic strip creator and beg the fascist overlords for medicine. great little system we've got here