Mike Keenan

A news story stating that Taylor Swift is making an announcement on tomorrow’s Good Morning America.

Engagement off.

New album “Travis Can Fuck Off” dropping Friday.

#beermatoftheday

A warning sign stating “No studs in the bar area”.

Couldn’t get into tonight’s gig.

“Give it to me straight Dr Schrödinger”
“Well… there’s good news and bad news”.

A news story announcing that weight loss drugs are soon to be sold at that bastion of fitness and restraint, Costco.

I’m still getting a 24 inch pizza and 6 hotdogs on the way out.

The bloody Argos catalogue, in 2025!

The Argos catalogue!

I’m going to circle the Transformers.

Kicked the Bouquet.

Rest in peace Kitty.

Wherever I lay my hat, that’s “the wrong place” and do I “not know where the fucking hatstand is?”

“Jesus Christ, it’s like living with a child. Learn to put your hats away Mike, you scruffy bastard”.

Don’t eat it pink!

I know this shouldn’t be the takeaway but I’m genuinely curious as to what swan tastes like.

Well, if migrants are poaching and abusing local parks, I for one think that it’s fantastic they’re taking on traditional British values.

Great to see that the knuckle dragging racists are all suddenly concerned for the welfare of our geese which are *checks notes* migratory.

Bought this and then started a fight at a petrol station.

Her : I love it when F1 sessions are called to a halt.

Me : Ooh, that’s a red flag.

There's a door in our house that if you push the correct floorboard, the door near the cellar flings open, When my kids are being naughty I say Lesley is coming and she's mad, then I press the floorboard. Cue the screams.

👏👏👏👏👏👏

I’ve booked to go and see a lecture on time travel next week. That’s an hour of my life I’m going to get back.

A photograph of Mrs Trump whose face is hidden behind a, frankly absurd, hat.

Where on Earth is Melania Trump?

I can’t wait to read it!

Spooky season is coming and this looks amazing. Pre-ordered!

This looks amazing. Pre-ordered!

A drawing of Kathy from the comic strip Kathy (a white woman with brown hair and droopy eyes) dressed in a gown with puffy sleeves standing next to Heathcliff the orange cat from the comic strip Heathcliff. Heathcliff is wearing a black waistcoat. They’re standing against a foggy background with trees and red outlined letters say Wuthering Heights, an homage to the poster for the new Emerald Fennel film adaptation of the 19th century novel. Smaller black text above has the author’s name, Charlotte Brontë.

The thing about being an artist is that sometimes you’ll have a really silly/cursed image enter your head and spend hours of your life drawing it. Hours you’ll never get back.

Walter White is only 50 at the start of Breaking Bad, so I’ve decided I should stop wasting time.

Anyone know where I can buy a camper van?

Peak mum. We don’t deserve them.

The label probably does say “Made in China”.

English flags tied haphazardly to lampposts as if by an angry child.

The charity I set up employing refugees to make flags is going great guns.

Thanks for all the support!

You join us live from Danny Dyer’s birthday drinks.

“Doctor? Yes he’s back outside and he’s bought a long roller…”