Goetta Superstar

The most underrated part of the kids finally being in bed is being able to openly talk shit about how fucking terrible the government is without them hearing.

Aw, before this hellscape, I used to be funny. How else do you think I strong-armed @themusketeer.bsky.social into dating me?

YouTube video by Darren Williams Best In Show - God Loves a Terrier

The Wofford Terriers are playing?

… fight song loading: youtu.be/yC8rZq3oKuI?...

I’m white, but I’m not “wears flip flops when it hits 40°” white.

My Roman Empire is the fact there are two famous Jon Favreaus in this country.

No excuses—you have plenty of time to plan ahead.

We will continue to fight against this corrupt government takeover from billionaires. TRANS LIVES ARE HUMAN LIVES AND I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!

Day drinking weather! 🍻

[Finally] no longer Prime members. The journey of voting with our wallet continues ✌🏻

Mine are too old for that lol. And currently only one is keeping a charge 🫣

I got my first pair when I was 36, and only because they were hand-me-downs from my husband 🙃

spongebob squarepants is wearing a hat with an anchor on it and is walking on the beach . ALT: spongebob squarepants is wearing a hat with an anchor on it and is walking on the beach .

I would love to be able to morph into Mocking SpongeBob any time I was dealing with an idiot. (Which I guess, these days, means I just want to *be* Mocking SpongeBob.)

You know what they can’t take from us? Our joy. So let’s microdose TF out of some joy.

Anyone order a Loveburger? Well done.

It’s strange to be working on February dates and not including Fish Fry SZN, which is very late this year. (Starts March 5, btw.)

Related: tourdecincinnati.com/dates-to-kno...

Watching with the 5-year-old who has no context of what’s going on:

“Why are they crumbling on top of each other”

“Ohio State is mad they lost the game? Oh boy”

Being a parent is standing up 20 seconds after sitting down on loop.

As Deana Carter said, “Did I shave my legs for this?” Except by shaving my legs I mean why did I stay awake.

The way we get through these 4+ years is by drinking, right? @themusketeer.bsky.social