jane lively

Reframing autistic traits to be neurodivergent-friendly and neutral

Autistic traits are described so negatively by default. That's because the historic perception of autism continues to control the narrative despite us having autistic people sharing their perspectives. Once I imagined what life…

Misconceptions about autistic adults that need to go

Autistic adults exist. Not only kids. Not only "quirky" side characters in someone else's story. Real adults -- living, working, loving, failing, thriving. And yet...misconceptions follow us everywhere. People assume we'll "grow out of it". That…

How to survive working in retail

How to I avoid becoming a worker found dead at my workplace? That's what I think when I wonder how I will survive working in retail. This job, it threatens to steal my soul. Some days, I catch myself feeling dead inside. I don't want this job to harden me. Nor do I…

Guide to jury duty for burnt-out autistic adults

After panicking, I postponed my jury duty summons. If I'd known I could postpone up to two times, I'd have done it. I didn't know. So. I went in on a Monday like, "Okay, chances of me being called are slim. It's okay. I can go home and sleep! Conk…

Behind the Blog: The work you don’t see but should know about

Most people think blogging is as simple as jotting down your thoughts and hitting publish. However, the reality of blogging as a business is far more complex and involves mastering various skills beyond writing. From planning content…

Reasons not to reconcile with your estranged mother

Should you reconcile with your estranged mother? That's not a choice anyone else can make for you. I'm writing this post from the perspective of someone who decided not to reconnect with her mother. I realized doing so would complicate and…

Bittersweet

Sweet, sweet family time with my youngest sister...but then I got sick.

Why I do the bare minimum at my retail job

I do my job...by which I mean, "I work per my job description, not like I'm eager to level up." 'Cause I'm not. I seriously have zero interest in becoming a manager at my store. I work a retail job where expectations are unrealistic, coverage is…

How to at your wage in retail

Are you doing too much at work? You're probably doing too much at work. You know, going above and beyond for your store. Helping other people do their work while forgetting that "helping" them might a) not even be your job or b) be related to your job because…

Is retail a great first job?

It depends. I didn't name a blog "Survive Retail" for giggles and purrs. As with everything, there are pros and cons. Some people thrive in retail. I've met a store manager who started at 16 and never left -- and associates who've worked the same role for 20+ years.…

Things to release once you clock out

You're clocked out, but it feels like work comes home with you despite being on hourly pay, am I right? That's where releasing yourself of the responsibility and guilt surrounding your responsibilities and actions after you clock out comes in. Off the clock,…

How to stop being a people-pleaser at work

Being a people-pleaser is not the right path for you. Who am I to tell you this? A former people-pleaser. As a people-pleaser, you will be walked over. And because this is retail hell, you will not survive it people-pleasing. But also? People-pleasers…

10 things I wish I knew before my first retail job

Retail is a common first job for teens and college students. Ashley Tisdale worked a lot of retail jobs alongside being a child (well, teen) actress and model. It taught her the value of money, how to save money, and to be respectful of stores…

Being liked at work isn’t important

As an autistic woman in retail, I've noticed a pattern: Men are automatically respected in the workplace. Customers often look to men as if they know more, even if they're new. Women are expected to be agreeable, likeable and passive. The point of work and…

How I blog with a full-time job

I work 40 hours a week for a retail company. This is but one step on my path. Blogging alongside a full-time job has its challenges. (If it didn't, I'd have gotten farther with my blog before now.) If I wanted to turn my blog into a business, I needed to be…

January blog post ideas

January is the biggest month of the year for fresh starts inspiration goal-making lifestyle changes motivation personal development People may turn to Pinterest, where they will find blogs, as a source of inspiration. So I'm providing you with creative blog post ideas to…

Tips for dealing with COVID and Paxlovid

I caught COVID last month. How? Not sure exactly, but my immune system was already under attack by an allergen and chronic stress, so... The odds were not ever in my favor. My housemate told me she had tested positive for COVID and recommended I test…

Things to NOT say to someone with dissociative identity disorder How do you befriend someone with DID? Like you befriend people without it: respect for their boundaries leading with empathy connecting based on common interests We're not that much different from other people. Something that is unique to people with DID, though, is what you might consider saying but would be better off not -- because saying anything from this list would do more than offending someone with DID.

Things to NOT say to someone with dissociative identity disorder

How do you befriend someone with DID? Like you befriend people without it: respect for their boundaries leading with empathy connecting based on common interests We're not that much different from other people. Something that is…

Annoying things non-autistic people do

Allistic people frustrate and annoy me. Probably...for the same-ish reasons I, and other autistics, annoy them. Like, okay. I know autistic people annoy others. That's literally everyone, though -- everyone has potential to annoy others... Some groups of…

Blogging tasks to do when you don’t want to write a new blog post

What can I do when I don't want to write a new blog post? I've been hitting these moments a lot lately...probably because I started a new blog that I've got a lot of inspiration for and am spent by the time I open Lemon & Lively.…

How to figure out who you are after leaving your abusive family

Who am I outside of being my family's scapegoat? Outside of who my family decides I am? I struggled to answer this question since I left my abusive family. The answer, which I continue to navigate, is more of a journey than a quick,…

10 things to never say to a blogger

"I blog." Those two words open doors to someone else judging or perceiving me a certain way. I used to be ashamed of having a blog, but then blogging went mainstream. Now, I spend a lot of time differentiating myself from social media influencers and hobby…

COVID sucks, Paxlovid is nasty & at least my ARFID brain has ice cream because warm foods when I feel like shit are shit.

The fine line between accountability and harassment There's a difference between accountability and cruelty. Between calling someone in and dragging them through hell for sport. Between "I want to talk about this" and "I want to destroy you". Online -- like in neurodivergent spaces -- those lines blur fast. And the people doing the most damage are often the ones most convinced they're in the right.

The fine line between accountability and harassment

There's a difference between accountability and cruelty. Between calling someone in and dragging them through hell for sport. Between "I want to talk about this" and "I want to destroy you". Online -- like in neurodivergent spaces -- those lines…

Backlash doesn’t mean you’re wrong — it means you touched a nerve There's this idea that if you receive backlash for what you say online, you must've done something wrong. Said it the wrong way. Hurt someone. Crossed a line. But that's not always true. Sometimes, backlash means you said something honest. Something uncomfortable. Something people didn't want to confront -- especially when they've built their identities around pretending they already have.

Backlash doesn't mean you're wrong — it means you touched a nerve 💅

Contextual dissociation in dissociative identity disorder

Working full-time again has completely disoriented me. It's wrecked my body. It's also wrecked every ounce of dissociative grounding I had in place because retail is ripe with toxic behavior. You cannot always walk away when someone is…

Disability topics I’m tired of talking about

I'm over it. It's 2025. I know diversity, equity, inclusion and accessibility (DEIA) is dead in the USA because the current administration and its representing political party considers DEIA too "woke". But damn. It's 2025. Ten whole years ago, I was a…

Two years ago, someone told me, "Art isn't that serious. Just pour the paint. Come on."

Why art is serious: What pour painting taught me about artistic expression, empathy and perspective

Telling me I’m so well put together is not a compliment 🫠 especially because it’s being said with the implication that #autistic people can’t be ‘well put together’ whatever that means anyway

🧵 The anatomy of misinformation: 🧠🐛's inflammatory weekend thread attacking CDC's vaccine safety data (VSD) and defending the controversial David Geier
Was it just weekend noise? Or groundwork for firing all 17 members of ACIP today?
Let’s break it down.
#SaveCDC #SaveACIP #FireRFKJr