Désirée <- bottomphobic

And like you can just end things if you are really looking for different things thats fine. You can be sad but like don't be assholes or something

Like especially cishets have this thing where maybe one person wants to open the relationship or something and either a person leaves and is cast as an asshole because they don't want that or they don't and then they do a thing where they both hate each other in the end

A lot of people are thinking of relationships as something that they are owed or that they need and that they are entitled to keep the one they are in if situations change

Evil rich people are evil in the exact same way a regular evil person (like that one uncle everyone has) is. Just with more money and more power and more everything so suddenly the boardroom meeting isn't about firing all the black people in the company but about genocide.

Like normal society is the enemy. Normal employers normal priests normal coaches normal parents normal bullies normal whatever. It's just that a lot of people know things are wrong and then attribute it to outgroups because they cant see their in groups

Like a idk sure the Eppstein shit seems cultish but it's just a more high brow version with more gold plating and planes and islands of employers sexually assaulting people and teachers and coaches and priests assaulting children.

Like I think also the way a lot of left people talk about "the elites" is like kinda stinky icky a little bit. Because they otherise them so much it genuinely seems like a smoke filled room and they're all gay and Jewish and what people like to imagine. But like "the elite" is the most normal guy

Usually I think the thing thats wrong is normal society as a rule. So I think I get more sceptical when people are like "well there are these small little freak groups doing shit" because like normal society is like so abhorrent and evil in its ways that I don't believe you

Idk if you don't want people fetishizing rape quit making it the only form of sex anyone can imagine something like that

"well I didn't wanna focus my attention on that anyway" and it's like basic life skills or reading or math or something. Idk

I think some neurodivergents have this kind of grouchy reaction when they learn that their disability did and does disable them

🩸🦇

just told my bratty submissive she / they puppygirl about #DickCheney. she had tears in her eyes & then did a fortnight pose & barked "#Dickanda forever" - which is the sort of pop-culture mashup that we can celebrate.

naturally i punished her for speaking out of turn. she came immediately.

The more dangerous part, aside from all the racism, in dark romance isn't really the dark part but the classic tropes and pitfalls of romance: big weddings, asking the father, vanilla sex; this is the true conditioning for rape that's happening

The specific kinds of sex in dark romance are often rape myths in their own right often with racist under or overtones but like they're not exactly field guides for what to do if you find yourself alone in a park being aggressed upon by a werewolf or something

Like if we are to work under the pretense that dark romance is a new way to make young women like rape or something the only thing people could criticise is that it makes the rapist also at least have to be hot

And I wont say that dark romance has no flaws or something but like if it were that no one would be mad at it. Every day young women get taught to expect and accept sexual violence in their life and when they are raised for marriage it is also often specifically about accepting rape into your life

An allegation commonly leveled at dark romance and whatnot is that it teaches young women to expect to be raped but like as a society we teach women to be raped every day so really that can't be the problem with those books

And so I find it especially odd if people work so hard to make the rapist anyone else than the man that legally owns them but like instead some diaperfur who's into some things they don't like.

And what's interesting is that these kink communities have words for these people and often mechanisms to get them away from their victims and the community. Like obviously they're not perfect and there's like whole Sex violence communities but still. This isn't a thing in dhsm

The issue of fake doms is so interesting also because like yeah they exist with harder kinks also but a lot of them are in the shallow waters of light sadism light dominance and just make that explicit but still do the same shit regular men in regular relationships do.

And this just wouldn't happen if you were to seriously and curiously engage with bdsm as an interest in any way because you would learn to discuss and to choke.

And B) even if she telepathically communicates to you that she likes it because you won't speak about it you might just crush her windpipe and choke her to death because none of you clowns can or even want to learn how to choke

It's like choking is practiced in vanilla relationships because it's in vanilla porn now. And it is so dangerous because

a) it's just a spontaneous decision a lot of the time like the girl doesn't get asked and is probably really surprised and might yknow hate it and this is abuse

And I don't wanna be like "hah see you are the real perverts" no I mean to say that like if good perverse things were happening there I would like it a lot more. But in being so unspoken and so normal it just leads to rape and cruelty and bad relationship dynamics

I think contrapoints has described quite well with default heterosexual sadomasochism but like that doesn't even really cover the extensive 24/7 ownership themes and the expectation of house work and the financial dependencies and the horrid sex and aaaaallll of that goes so unsaid in the day to day

But also I raise you this: if I were to defamiliarize cishetmonovanillaslop and describe it to like a kinky poly trans lesbian or something I bet she would be like maybe somewhat into the dynamic but would raise sooooo many red flags and like points where extensive consent talks should be held

There is this concerted effort to make abusive men just kinky or gay: "oh he hit you? What is he getting off on that?" "no man that likes women would do this so he must be dl" and this is like outgrouping because their rapist sleeps in their bedroom and the child of their rape sleeps next door.

And I do think that good Analyse often come from outside a group especially if that group is treated as the norm to the extent they don't know they're in a group. So: cis het mono vanilla relationships are so fucking weird man

I think about sex and kink a lot and I think have ever since I found out there was something wrong with me (queer) and especially especially when I learned of the wide world of kink and bdsm. Like I found it intriguing