Bahlya Yansané

This is a WHITES ONLY loophole

Introduction got me wanting to haunt people with my comedy

Harry & Meghan didn’t get an invitation to the royal Christmas party. Now that’s how make the dream of a white Christmas a reality.

oh it’s a Buick. I’m over here thinking it was culture reference I missed..

Gonna be real vulnerable here: when Kendrick said, “all I ever wanted was a black grand national..” I realized that I don’t know what that is.

Black Friday? More like Bahlya Friday! Early bird tickets for my show fearless one & friends are only $10. Act fast because this deal ends on Friday, Dec 6! The show is on Friday, Dec 13 at Aurora Market at 7pm. Link in bio.

The world’s oldest man has died. He was 112 years old. He lived in England. He received after the oldest guy in Venezuela died at 114. Do you think the English guy killed the Venezuelan for the world record clout?

I was a thumb sucker until age 12 and then I started biting my nails. I don’t know if you knew this but a nail bite is a thumb suck with more options. In fact, a three course meal on hand. The first course is the nails, second is the cuticles and the third is pain.

As long as you keep in mind…

Don’t agonize, orcanize 🐳

🎤✨ Don’t miss Fearless One & Friends!✨ Join us Fri, Nov 22 @ 7 PM at Aurora Market (500 Irving St NW) for laughs with Bahlya Yansane, Chris Porter, Izzy Gelfand, Alec Quinn, Andrew Barlow, & Benny Nwokeabia. 🎟️ $15 online/$25 door. Scan the QR to grab your tickets! #DCComedy

I knew

I just learned that male orcas are mama’s boys and that they stay by their mom’s side as old as 30. I’m a whale.

If you see a red “in use” on the bathroom door, you don’t have to knock or twist the handle. I’m extremely petty. I will take longer

Black joy is powerful resistance, rooted in history. Enslaved people sang to stay connected and uplifted. Today, Kendrick Lamar reminds me that despite everything, we gon’ be alright.

Is black joy allowed on blue sky? Happy to be here!