super shit brothers

who up vanquishing that internal pit of despair and nourishing their self perceptions

I have just received word that my new book “Screenshots of Tweets from People Confirming That Elon Musk’s Dick Is Weird Before They’re Deleted” has become an instant bestseller, reaching the New York Times nonfiction bestseller list to be made public at 7pm tonight. Thanks for supporting the book!

Yves Saint Patrick

i apologize for this joke i would not invest in federal bonds right now

the names Bond… Federal Bond

i need one of those wooden nickels so i can stand on it to spin around like a sprinkler when i piss

what if logging in required you to do actual logging work, like instead of a password you need 3 completed logs that have all been sawed down into boards ready to be shipped

smokin that woke 365

did you know that by replacing coffee with green tea you will have changed from one liquid to another and have a differing experience

is there a computer mouse that also shoots lasers

decades from now palm readers will rule the earth , who else can know the future and use it to their advantage ?? we must get them on our side now before it’s too late

BREAKING: scientists have discovered a little guy

*watching my follower count go down rapidly due to a recent post* welp win some lose some

finally a tough marshmallow, for Guys Like Me

BREAKING: hydration has been cancelled due to “woke”

entering the regressive anti-DEIA email into a scam website that’s offering a $500K cash prize and free ipads

entering the same snitch-line email to another “free iphone” website

signing the snitch-line up for loan offers from lending tree (which notoriously sells your email to hundreds of other, smaller loan shark companies)

a screenshot of the moneylion loading screen (another spam lender) where the loading text says “one moment…. liasing with our partners and lenders for you” (similarly to lending tree this one is sending out the snitch-lines email address to tons of spams lenders)

i just started signing them up for free ipad giveaways and some great loan opportunities. just trying to do my part as a patriotic american

CBS has ordered a pilot for a new “Dicks” spin-off, currently titled “Dicks: Cocks”

harshmallow: the marshmallow for men

someone smarter has probably laid out a solid argument about this but dont we already have socialized medicine in medicare? why not just expand medicare to cover all ages? is there a reason not to do this?

remember favstar

imagine squirtle going on a 70s daytime talk show and just squirting the host in the face after every question

maybe i will buy a cannon like the old school carnival kind that you can fire a person out of do they still do that

Data and Picard with the subtitle: "the Irish Unification of 2024"

Final day to repost this!

they’re called posts until someone says they have to be, then their called skeets

people underestimate the power of a good sandwich

optimus prime had it so easy

wendys sponge bob burger with an actual yellow dish sponge as the burger patty, theres also cheese tomato lettuce onion and ketchup and mayo on a hamburger bun

how many times do i have to post the wendys sponge bob burger

so whats the verdict on jet fuel melting steel beams again?

this movie is about taking down “brand X” so i expect it to be popular with bluesky users

hark the harold angels sing, glory to the new found hank