nattie winters

installed an ai of the uvalde shooter on my phone and now i’m invincible to cops

Gracious as he is, Mario permits even his enemies to own and run businesses.

No, weapon formed against me!

i told them the brutal truth: upon becoming a vampire, a bishie’s dick shrivels up super tiny

in 1999 i made my first fujoshi friends in the computer lab at school as they were writing a story about the ranma 1/2 characters becoming vampires and they immediately asked me to settle an argument: is 15” too big or if they should reduce ryoga’s dick to a measly 12”

there should be an official Applebee's game about having a complete 60 minute Applebee's dining experience but you gotta get up and leave if you spot an Anomaly

ugliest damn baby i seen in a minute. this baby eats shellfish and has diarrhea at the casino

heh… go cry yourself to sleep! wait. don’t do that.

Mike… Thank you.

- Nattie, Now Eternal

Q: Did you hear? A sleep champion has entered the bedtime tournament.

A: Yeah, he’s a real honk shoo-in!

whenever a rando starts trash talking my milk builds i check their barnyard’s wiki and the notable cows section is entirely blank lmao

got an mri in 2005 when i liked gabber and i was pretty excited to listen to the mri gabber but the tech then exuberantly said “but don’t worry! you can listen to coldplay on these headphones!” and i didn’t have the heart to tell her i preferred the machine so i had to listen to coldplay+gabber

let the night crabs go about their night business

fucked up how g/abriel still follows him

charlie brown talking to an adult who only responds to him with the annihilation sting

Hey I was right about another angel I didn’t like in heaven being outed as a creep,

i liked that guys work on small craft on a milk sea but im not getting medical advice from a musician

tired of the heteronormativity in the pacts industry. not everyone has a firstborn!

you're gonna wanna make sure your game is as friendly to payment processors as possible, something like an online casino that connects 10 year olds to 45 year old roleplaying partners

whats 9/11 ?

Mr. Coyote 2: Death Of Mr. Coyote

doing an akira slide into the room on a horse, breaking all of its legs

bubble wrap usps envelope made for mailing kik alicha across great distances

spoon some into one of these bad boys for me

can i have some

yes it is. look it up.

i heard ice cream music and looked outside and there was a pastamania truck being driven with hulk hogan’s body leaning out and posed like he was cupping his ear. there were kids running alongside, cheering him goodbye—they knew he was dead, but what’s one more round of “kayfabe” for the road

zoomers don’t care if your uncle works at nintendo. they only think you’re cool if your uncle works at jeffrey epstein.

websites need group dms so that delicate posts can thrive away from the harsh elements

thought this hammer was going to pay for itself but so far nothing in my home is a geode

a corkscrew

you’re about to be out of a job