Lontar

'measles outbreak at the child prison' seems entirely avoidable, it's really the kind of thing that only happens if you do several unthinkably evil things on purpose all at once

You're gonna regret this in about... 19 years

🎯

As long as you use a reasonable amount of napkins

Is there much to look forward to? or is it pretty much the same

I actually am 37 and I do NOT find the jokes very funny

There's actually only one gender. The Allgender

Please turn your EULA's to page 256, verse 4. And thus he said unto thee, thine location data herein referred to "SERVICE" shall impart upon thee a thousand boons in such capacity as held by the servicer pursuant t-

Packets of Idahoan instant mashed potatoes with "+PROTEIN" emblazoned all over it

Thank u rfk

If you ask me catholicism should lean into the weird shit

"Oh we have a special guy for not choking and when it's his special day everybody comes up and we put crossed candles on their throat and do the 'Saint Don't Choke's Day Blessing'"

Do more of that shit, it's whimsical.

@nocontroller.bsky.social

I have heard about DHS literally every day for over a year

You don't know...?

bodily function issues and visible signs of aging seem to humanize him more than I care for, I do not want to empathize with him as a fellow human being

Rebuilt from scratch lol

Okay but shitting your pants is actually the most alpha thing you can do. Instant and complete intimidation of your enemies

put that basket down! cheddar bay biscuits are for closers!

Omg

I think if we went back to calling podcasts "talk shows", a lot of these people would cut it out

Realizing that if I stay Online long enough, I'll look as old as my profile picture

I remember bringing a sack into the first restaurant I worked at and dunking those bad boys in the deep fryer. Life changing

Slaking my hunger with a thin broth @toil.bsky.social

Money gains a gravitational pull toward more money above a certain level, where even an idiot would have to try very hard to fuck it up and become poor again

Finally

Hiroyuki Sakai from Iron chef with subtitle "Very memorable."

Lontar We need a Disney princess to hang dong. Only then will woke have achieved anything real

"Hanging out" on discord

He's a fuckin amateur

I work 12 hours a SECOND

(At the tech bro conference) look guys, Paul is wearing shoes with LACES in 2026! God, he's so sub-optimal

remember when the panama papers came out and we found out every rich person on earth was committing tax fraud and then nothing happened