liz 🌙

as an idahoan and disabled person this week has been rough

it must be so fun to exist in a brain with zero critical thinking skills

one of those all snacks no real meals days

me with STUNNER by TEN rn

I don’t like being “negative” in the sense that I always have hope and believe in the goodness of humanity, but the last few years have shown me how people don’t hesitate to be selfish without considering consequences for vulnerable individuals and that really scares me

I’m writing this thread at 2 am after my three day fever finally broke so this might not even make sense, and there are probably numerous typos. but everything is so crazy and it truly keeps me up at night

but the priorities of the current admin is to line billionaires’ pockets while everyone else suffers. we don’t have to suffer like this. I can’t comprehend seeing suffering and excusing it like someone, like anyone, deserves it. no one deserves it

don’t even want to get into the money funding genocide in Palestine. I’ve seen too many mangled children over the last year and a half. I will not become desensitized to the horrors my tax dollars are funding

then we get into things like MAHA and the idiots in the current admin trying to “prove” vaccines cause autism (they don’t). proving something goes against the scientific method? just because something isn’t disproven doesn’t make it true. we are so lost as a country I am truly dumbfounded, drained

same goes for human rights violations. it’s so obvious that kidnapping people and sending them to prison when they haven’t been charged with any crimes is a human rights violation yet people celebrate it. immigration is a CIVIL issue, not criminal

thinking a lot about the resistance to slowly infectious disease spread and all the misinformation around it. my mom believes covid is the same as the flu despite her own daughter having long covid. how has it become so easy to deny the reality right before our eyes?

my goal is to be 30, flirty, and thriving someday but i only have two years left to get there and it just doesn’t seem realistic

amused every time a doctor doesn’t want to say I have a tumor out loud so they just gesture to the general area of the tumor and say something like “that…” or “your…” and wait for me to fill in the rest

I have absolutely no interest in leaving my house

love when i’m supposed to get a lyft to an appointment and someone schedules it to pick me up two hours before the appointment starts and also 15 minutes into the appointment for the return ride. forget blood work, i’d be walking out while they’re still taking my blood pressure

one month of chronic illness:
☑️ chest MRI
☑️ neurologist
☑️ sarcoma specialist
☑️ DTRF meeting
PCP
pain management
ophthalmologist
surgical oncologist
thyroid FNA biopsy
geneticist
interventional radiologist

i’ll always be angry that it took 4 months of tumor growth and constant pain to get from diagnosis to imaging, but i’m grateful to be at the part where i can hopefully get the help i need

the fact that my tumor encapsulates hyaline joints that move when i BREATHE makes the amount of pain i’ve experienced the last few months feel so validated

the radiologist also said the mass closely approximates intercostal neurovascular bundles

my chest MRI showed that my 5 x 4.7 x 2.5 cm desmoid tumor has invaded around several costochondral junctions and my abdominal muscles. my bones and cartilage don’t show any signs of destruction at this point which is good news!

There are people who assume those with disabilities are faking. That we’re scamming the system somehow. That it’s “fun” to be disabled.

They never seem to consider that most of us are faking being well.

We put on a smile and a brave face & push through suffering that most could never comprehend.

bad call to watch a romantic kdrama after my ex called me on valentine’s day

I’ve tried a slew of different meds in the last year, today is day one of Qulipta for my chronic hemiplegic migraines. Crossing my fingers! #qulipta #hemiplegicmigraine

beta blockers + winter = wearing full winter gear inside (I CANT GET WARM)

thank you 🩷 it’s a crazy thing, just can’t wait to have some answers!

a chest MRI when your muscles are numb and weak from a sarcoma, not fun. the coil felt so heavy on my chest. can already feel the inflammation. hopefully some answers will come soon 🤞🏻

Being disabled is like having a full time job where you have to pay other people.

just a reminder that infectious disease spreading in ANY part of the population is a danger to EVERYONE. no one deserves illness. don’t drink raw milk or encourage others to just because you don’t like them. wear a mask. keep your cats inside. there is no us vs them, we are a collective.

C.D.C. Posts, Then Deletes, Data on Bird Flu Spread Between Cats and People The data, which appeared fleetingly online on Wednesday, confirmed transmission in two households. Scientists called on the agency to release the full report.

Wow. So not only were several bird flu studies left out of today’s CDC Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, some data on bird flu briefly appeared in the online report and then was quickly removed.

straight up feel like i have mono rn