Matthew Parkinson-Bennett

So does anyone want to pay me to write this

The Route map of the long awaited (first line??) of the Dublin metro.

Her: I bet he's thinking about other girls.

Me:

Jess Waters recycling the same guy over and over to represent “former” different enemies

I hope you called them all out for reinforcing outdated gender stereotypes

Also, learn to drive cos your wife will get her licence when she’s 8 months pregnant and you’ll feel like a freeloading deadbeat every time she has to drive you somewhere

When you’re 35 a pandemic will hit and you won’t be able to leave the house so try and find the largest home you can

You mean he should follow the advice of the writer he paid for that joke

I’m reminded of Frankie Boyle saying, after Jimmy Carr was caught out for tax evasion, that he could continue making his cracks about how shit things in modern Britain are only if he ended every joke by saying “partly my fault I’m afraid”

Fantastic news

I'm getting a sense of a generational divide (as well as an obvious class one) on the Jim Gavin story. Older people I've spoken to seem quite sorry for him but everyone my age and younger seems to see this as a kind of vicarious revenge fantasy for all the bad landlords they've had over the years!

We have been denied so much entertainment

IIRC correctly he dropped out before it was clear that FF would enforce the whip throughout the party’s representatives

If he’d really wanted it he would have had a good chance as an independent. But he probably didn’t want to hurt the party even if he has no love for the present leadership.

Yes

However the fact he gave in early in the process suggested he doesn’t really have the drive for it any more

He actually would I think. It was presumed that he’d have too much toxicity but he would have had the skill to cope with the questions. He also would understood how to expose CC, something none of the interviewers have got to grips with.

Isn’t he a crocodile wrestler or something? Not exactly normal

We tried but her doctor told her not to run, and honestly all the other candidates should report their doctors for malpractice

Why doesn't the weirdest Irish presidential candidate simply eat the other candidates?

No.

Yes but it’s still arson

A small fire at the front of the bookshop was started last night after rubbish bags that were awaiting collection were set on fire. The guards don’t have reason at this time to believe it was a targeted attack. Thankfully the damage was limited and everyone is safe. We are open for business as usual

She was talking about the Salisbury attack!

It’s called both-sidesing!

😂

Books Upstairs is a fine store with a particularly excellent poetry section. Why not support them by ordering your books online instead: booksupstairs.ie

Is this actually a thing or is it more of a “bit”?

He really would, and if they wanted to make a political statement, as they have done in the past, his novel “James” puts him in a great position to benefit from that.

I’m hoping Percival Everett gets the Nobel. Partly cos he’s a genius and I love him. Partly cos it would trigger MAGA. And partly cos it would trigger my friend who was “into him before it was cool”.

Percival Everett would annoy the right people