Internet Real Me

Gift guide writers… please don’t put fancy salt on your lists ever again… I’m begging you…….

Absolutely going to be one of those Chinese elders lapping malls for exercise. Perfectly even floors in a temperature controlled environment.

I may be constantly lost and confused on the streets, not knowing north from south or left from right, but I am freaking Magellan when it comes to navigating my way through a sprawling shopping center.

Rest in peace, little one. 💕🌈

I am being facetious but it IS interesting!

The Clash of Civilizations should be thoroughly revised and updated to be about “hot” Asian celebrities.

I scorn but also fear people who board flights in full summer attire—sandals, tank tops, shorts etc. They are not afraid of anything.

I do! Grandparents and parents had them, and it never occurred to me to live without one. Not much of a tea drinker, but I don’t drink cold water and if my hot water bottle doesn’t scald me, it’s not hot enough.

How to look ten years younger: don’t have kids.

Younger driver asked for my socials after a fun, spirited conversation but I leaned into being an auntie, asked him if he had a partner, then made him download coffee meets bagel in front of me before I got off at my destination.

Tossing and turning in bed, suffering the agonies when I remember that my Goodreads count is off because every year there are a couple of books that I am too embarrassed to add to my “Read” shelf.

Josephine Tey’s The Daughter in Time, Jasper Fforde’s The Eyre Affair!

energy from the morning burger nearly depleted, the Midwesterner's thoughts turn to the evening burger

The Moby Dick reading group should follow up with Ian McGuire’s The North Water in February. 🐋

Never had any problems with people posting about their lunches!

I can’t really defend my irrational love of frenchies, but I am grossed out by the fact that they’ve surpassed labs in popularity and people, incl. celebs with oodles of money, don’t seem to know the first thing about getting one or care how they get one.

Her breeder had puppy applicants fill out a multi-page questionnaire about housing, finances and work hours, and we signed a contract promising not to breed her. They were quite aggressive about their demands, but were very helpful after, and we found a terrific vet through their contacts.

One of my most strongly held beliefs is that pet breeders should be banned from social media. I routinely block and report those accounts, but to no avail, naturally.

Our frenchie was “pet quality” from a show breeder. She had longer legs, her face wasn’t super smooshed in, and she never had breathing problems, or chronic skin/food allergies. We were careful about her diet and hygiene from the start though!

A LOT of unmasked, WET coughing on this flight!!!

Was already familiar with “arvo”, “biccy”, “tradie” etc but TIL it’s possible to say “barmi” for bar mitzvah and “Chrissy” for Christmas in conversational Australian English. Don’t know why I was surprised, but I was!

Post brought to you by this morning’s nausea following my breakfast of Advil and coffee, which has never happened before. Cosponsored by the thought that a Rx responsible for more than halving my monthly ibuprofen intake is set to expire.

The faint look of horror on each and every non-American pharmacist’s face when they caution me about the OTC ibuprofen I’m paying for and I tell them that Dr Advil has been my primary care physician for more than a decade.

Have not been interested in food since my dog died. Truly dishonoring her memory.

A bruise in the shape of the figure 8.

Don’t remember getting this figure 8 bruise on my calf at all, but doctor bff’s (unofficial) medical opinion is 鬼捏腳, which roughly translates to “a pinch on the leg by a ghost.”

“Have you slept in a new bedroom recently?” I love spooky season.

Imagine creating a new social media account every decade or so until you DIE!