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"Anyone who doesn't buy SlopMaker will be left behind" says SlopMaker salesman

There’s going to be Covid style shortages of cars, TVs and even washing machines and fridges, then job losses because assembly lines can’t source solid state memory, just so the stupidest person you know can state with 100% confidence a chatbot confirmed dinosaurs coexisted with humans.

I would shoot the computer with a handgun five to eight times

half-life 2

gta san andreas

metal gear solid 3 snake eater

the sims 2

I think there's something hilarious about chuds saying the 2000s was peak gaming because there were no politics or minorities or whatever meanwhile these were some of 2004's biggest releases

Surprisingly subtle! A good look.

Nobody wants to rent my non-existent haunted apartment with a carpeted but also granite bathroom

(looking at a video of a robot that is carefully transported and maintained by dozens of guys perform a task that is programmed by dozens of different guys and it still sometimes falls down) hmm wow, is humanity cooked.......

[picture of a tweet from "Cam" @matrixreloaded, 11:33AM, Aug 31, 2020] "people on here will skeet anything. 'Charlie Brown had hoes.' No he didn't. That isn't true."

A fabricated statement from Nintendo of America's Twitter account addressing a fictitious scenario in which the Earth's oxygen supply is presumed to be depleting at a rapid pace, leaving humanity with mere days to live. "This is Miyamoto. On behalf of everyone who is employed at Nintendo Co. LTD and its subsidiaries, we deeply mourn the countless human lives which will be lost due to the depletion of the global oxygen supply. To anyone who has ever played one of our games, we are eternally grateful to have created long-lasting fun and memories for you. To ease the suffering of families and children across the world, the Mario Kart World game for the Nintendo Switch 2 system will be available as a free download on Nintendo eShop for the foreseeable future. We hope this small gesture of kindness will ease the pain as humanity prepares for a worst-case scenario." The statement is distastefully plastered with logos for Nintendo and Nintendo Switch 2, as well as with a render of Mario from Mario Kart World.

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. John Default Profile Picture: "No one read this statement and thought it was distasteful? Why did Miyamoto think this would help anyone?" NintenDeen: "Simple: Nintendo is so depraved that they'd exploit a global crisis to boost the player count of the failed Mario Kart World and force consumers back into the Switch 2 ecosystem to boost sales and player numbers."

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. PlayStation Nation: "What the fuck are you doing falsely advertising sales during these trying times? I went to the website and Mario Kart World is still selling for $80 USD." Kremling Kevin: "If you actually read the statement, it clearly says the discount is available on Nintendo eShop. Meaning the application on the Switch 2 itself, not the web browser version." PlayStation Nation: "Point still stands."

A fabricated Tweet responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. Isaboner: "Nothing for Switch 1 owners?"

Had a dream that there was global panic about the world running out of oxygen, Nintendo was the only video game company to make a statement about it, and the internet collectively spent its final hours on Earth debating whether Nintendo was being genuine or not

What's so amazing about Jim Henson as a puppeteer is that he could literally be explaining that Kermit is made out of felt and ping pong balls and yet Kermit still feels alive the whole time he's doing it

Alleged someone allegedly burning a concentration camp in Kansas City.

Suburban wine moms will really be like "you believe in voting? that pales in effectiveness to my strategy, firebombing a concentration camp" and then very effectively firebomb a concentration camp

The range of Pokémon discourse that is considered mainstream at any given time is called "the Ogerpon window"

one of the greatest human triumphs of my lifetime is the relentless, unceasing, heroic effort by DECADES' worth of doctors and scientists to find a cure for a disease much of the world didn't take seriously for years because it predominantly affected a community they thought kinda deserved it

this is why you should *never* hit someone with an rpg. it’s dangerous, it’s shitty, and it’s wrong

If you don’t believe you have anything to say that isn’t the mean approximation of a zillion different images that other people already made, that’s a deadness inside that no amount of attention or validation is gonna fix. Literally go touch grass, take a breath, and figure out your life.

sure you might have seen my name in the big pdf that got released titled “list of draculas currently operating in the united states.” here’s why that’s NOT a big deal:

A classic tweet from @kennykeil [Bluto subtweeting after getting his ass whooped] I don't know who needs to hear this but spinach isn't a personality

SHOCKING FEDERAL COURT MOMENT: DOJ attorney Julie Le, "The system sucks, this job sucks" to Judge Jerry Blackwell who pressed her on why so many court orders are being ignored by ICE/Trump admin. She asked to be held in contempt just so she could get 24 hours of sleep. @FOX9

This is unreal. An AUSA talking like that in open court is about as close as you can come to a total breakdown. Never heard of anything like it.

Gender-affirming autism diagnosis

Macaulay Culkin on Instagram. 😢

To: From: Sent: jeevacation@gmail.comfieevacation@gmail.com] Thur 12/19/20139:36:08 PM Subject: E-STOP: Message to Impacted Users Title: Xbox LIVE - E-STOP: Message to Impacted Users Xbox LIVE E-STOP: Message to Impacted Users Dear Xbox LIVE member, This message is to notify you that Xbox LIVE has permanently suspended the Xbox LIVE account associated with this email address. This action is based on the New York Attorney General&s partnership with Microsoft and other online gaming companies to remove New York registered sex offenders from online gaming services to minimize the risk to others, particularly children. As a result, any Xbox LIVE account associated with this email address will not be able to connect to Xbox LIVE. If you have an Xbox LIVE Gold subscription, or any unused Microsoft points, we are refunding the remaining value of those to you within 30 days. If you do not receive a refund within 30 days, or if you feel that you have been banned incorrectly, please send Microsoft a notice using the process at www.xbox.com/notice. Sincerely, Xbox LIVE [ESTOP/P/1 ]

Xbox LIVE was willing to do in 2013 what the entire US establishment was not.

honestly not in a million years would i have called this

BREAKING: recently murdered guy did something dope as hell a couple weeks prior

[wiping the gunpowder from my hands] now THAT is a high-quality petard! I feel sorry for whoever ends up getting hoist by that thing!

Why hasn't anyone fed this guy his own eyeballs yet

Good to see approval so high but also I want to say for the hundredth time that what gets covered in the media as "protests" in the Twin Cities is very often "people going about their day and then running to help when they see federal agents trying to kidnap their neighbors"