Abi Forslin

We just don’t talk enough about how similar the words “antelope” and “cantaloupe” are.

Ahh, finally a night off from my part-time job (watching #LoveIslandUSA).

I don’t like that they wash their clothes in the food pot on #Survivor. I know they boil it but I’m not eating underwear rice??

If my name was Otis Spunkmeyer, I think I would simply not name my company after myself.

I’m really starting to understand the people who clap when the plane lands.

True Life: My husband doesn’t know about the anglerfish and he asked me not to tell him about it because he could tell from my face that it was something sad so now I have to just be sad by myself.

My dog had a vet appt today and isn’t allowed to have any treats, so obviously I hid in the bathroom with the water running to open and eat my evening cheese stick so he wouldn’t hear the wrapper and be sad.

It must be so scary to be a bird these days.

My hot take today is that the weather report should just always be the “Feels Like” temperature. I don’t care what a thermometer bulb feels like; I care what *I* am going to feel like out there.

It’s very nice that they do it, but the Q&A with the contestants is my least favorite part of Jeopardy. I love these nerds but I cannot watch them try to hobnob.

I love my home decor until the day we take down the Christmas decorations. Then it’s like, how could a human even live in such a desolate, empty wasteland?

I think we actually have to.

You might think you’ve found the perfect combo but then what’s that? Cringey inspirational quotes on every page.

When buying a new planner, you can either have a cute cover or a good layout that perfectly meets your needs. Never both.

I think I would have actually preferred to be shirked by Conrad McCarthy. He doesn’t need to know my business ✌️

Apple TV+ spent $20B on original content. If only people actually watched. Reportedly high budget has brought Apple TV+ a lot of prestige, but not a lot of viewers.

Every Apple TV+ user has one (1) show that they love and which no one else in the world is watching.

(Mine is ‘Trying’!)

People seem pretty split between “post” and “skeet,” but I’d like to offer for consideration a third option that I’ve been using personally: Bloosk.

Ex:
“I’m gonna bloosk about that.”
“Hey, I’m blooskin’ here!”
“I rebloosked that yesterday.”

Looks like we’ve got a three-dog, one-cat sledding team all ready to go!

Hank, a chihuahua, wears a gray fluffy hooded sweater with bear ears.

Archie, a chihuahua, wears a brown fluffy hooded sweater with bear ears.

Well, here they are wearing sweaters in our 74-degree house.

“I just don’t think they’d like being sled dogs.” — My husband, completely unprompted, regarding our two 11-pound chihuahuas.

My best cooking tip is to have a dog who likes vegetables. You’ll never be lonely in the kitchen again!

This looks so great! I haven’t seen an FPP alphabet with serifs before. Very classy!

Nothing more pathetic than hiding on the other side of the kitchen from the onions YOU chopped, wiping tears from your face and dreading having to go back.

Well now I’ll have to give it a try! I imagine the sugar helps a lot. 🙂

Like 90% of homeownership is just changing filters.

I would love to have the confidence of whoever is picking the foods to feature in the Daisy sour cream commercials. Just saw someone dip a strawberry in sour cream and brown sugar, then eat it. Unhinged!

One thing I think they did not consider when scheduling this fight is that I am very sleepy.

Don’t tell my dog but sometimes I like when he has to go out in the middle of the night because I get some fresh air and the yard is so peaceful and quiet.

There is nothing more embarrassing to me than starting a new social media profile. Choose a profile pic? For people to SEE? And then post words for people to ALSO SEE? A nightmare.