probablyRob

allegedly - the dog’s lawyer

If he can’t guarantee safety, then I’m concerned about his patriotism

67-69

I didn’t even know kids got graded for posting, school has really changed!

Surprisingly they are all Mary Kate and Ashley movies

Trump’s plan to fix the economy is to build a new ballroom in every town

The fact that this, and every other Trump pardonee who has subsequently broken the law, has not ended Trump's political career, that it barely even registers on the national discourse, underlines just how far we are from a functioning democracy that values accountability.

a rainbow and a star with the words " make you know " on it Alt: A shooting star with a rainbow coming out of its butt, and the words “the more you know” which then transforms into the NBC peacock

You guys are right, the aurora borealis is amazing, I can’t believe I captured this with my iPhone!

Weird that we have a planet-wide magnetic defense system that self activates when the sun decides to attack but it is very pretty

I’m an entrepreneur. I started my own insurance business. No I don’t sell insurance, I just negotiate with insurance companies for my own health insurance. No I haven’t made any money yet but I’m so happy.

“I definitely like to read books and I read lots of them all the time” he posts just in case someone accuses him of never reading books

A 50 year mortgage?

You’ll pay it off in 2075?

2075 is not a real year, it’s a science fiction novel

My Facebook post of @ChiquitaBrands and @Chiquita posting "We've just overthrown the government of Brazil", to which the later replied "We apologize to those who have served a misleading message from a fake Chiquita account. We have not overthrown a government since 1954"

3 years ago Elon enabled the funniest day in Twitter history.

If Joe Biden has said “Nobody knows what magnets are” they would have cancelled Monday Night Football, the stock market would have crashed, Jake Tapper would have spontaneously combusted live on-air, Taylor Swift & Travis Kelce would have broken up, and…

I’m not sure the best strategy to address the shortage of air traffic controllers is to berate them and dare them to quit

Lots of people comparing Senate Democrats to Charlie Brown trying to kick the football, but that analogy only works in a version where Lucy has told Charlie Brown she's going to pull it away, and also that afterwards she's going to have Snoopy executed in a foreign prison

Mamdani is going to impose Shakira Law. That’s the truth because hips don’t lie.

Unpopular opinion:

I don’t like these types of plays. I know he never touched the ground but if he’s sitting on his butt, why doesn’t that mean his forward momentum has been stopped?

I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that

For score & 7 years ago

We’ve secretly replaced the Bulls Josh Giddey with Will Ferrell. Let’s see if they can tell the difference.

Hey not being able to think of a good one didn’t stop me from making 3 of them!

Cruisin’ for a bruisin’

Bedtime for Bonzo

O You know, for kids The Hudsucker Proxy

The GOP - bringing prayer back into school, but not into ICE detention facilities

I tucked my tie into my pants
To see if I still feel

I’m pretty sure he named it right after falling into it

And they say investigative journalism is dead!

Post from Elon: Western Civilization is doomed, unless the core weakness of suicidal empathy is recognized and actions are taken that are hard, but necessary for survival

Story from The New Yorker: One analytical model shows that, as of November 5th, the dismantling of U.S.A.I.D. has already caused the deaths of 600,000 people, two-thirds of them children.

When Elon says we’ve got to take actions that are “hard, but necessary for survival” this is what he means