Omg the logistics!! 🤯

I thought this was real and Red, White and Blueland was fake... how tf are we supposed to keep up with reality 😭

Kendrick Lamar deserves to win the very first Nobel Hate Prize

Last night my boyfriend's girlfriend picked me up so we could go watch him perform at a music event together - my first extremely polyamorous outing 😆

Nope hahah. I know Google is free but I want that info delivered to me 😆

Who the hell is Benson Boone and why is he suddenly all over my feed today?! Should I know who he is?

Do you want more Luigis? Because this is how you get more Luigis.

A graph showing the number of people named Miles born per hour. It has grown exponentially since 1980.

In children per year, the US birth rate is at an all-time low, but in Miles’ per hour it’s at an all time high.

If Ronnie hasn't punched drywall in his life, I'll eat my shorts #loveislandallstars

Talking shit about reality tv? Yes plz

Omg and Ekin-Su talking shit to him. Like is she trying to put Harriett in danger? Ronnie is legit scary

Ronnie is a walking red flag. Harriett arrives and he's just straight up love bombing, then the moment she accepts his affection he freaks out that she might have been with someone while she was single... turns out he literally was with other people WHILE they were dating #loveislandallstars

Do you feel people shouldn't be funny when the apocalypse is nigh?

Truly!

I'd rather have 20 sashes than zero 💀

When you want to type up and send a mean email in response to some audacity, stop.

Don't send it.

Come back to it later. Make it even meaner. Tell them they sound tired. Include a picture of their mom and imply you are dating her. Correct their grammar. Take your time and make it really count

Catching up on #LoveIslandAllStars and all I'll say is that Kaz needs to be given a damn break, and Ronnie needs to be given way WAAAY less breaks

Maybe we need some scientists to explain because it makes ZERO sense

The gym needs to clean their mirror 😆

Double fisting my #SCIg and watching @pearlmania500.bsky.social for moral support 💕

The stupider the NYT Connections purple level is, the easier I'll get it. Homophones for Spanish numbers? Easy. Your mum's name minus the last letter? Done.
I'll still fail though, cos I won't recognise basic synonyms 🥲

Rewatching an old Would I Lie to You ep from 2014 and a Welsh TV presenter called Steve Jones is talking about saving P Diddy's life... sounds super weird now 😅

Cleopatra lived closer in time to 'yeet' being in the dictionary than to the construction of the Great Pyramid of Giza.

Fun fact that the guy who coined the term "vegan" was forced out of the vegan society by people who tried to change the definition of veganism to something more extreme and almost ruined the whole organisation by being interminable

Another enabler smh

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

I'm a moderate on the issue of cars, I don't think they should be banned but I do think they should all be this. Now I know what you're thinking: what if I need to go fast or need more space? That's just too bad

I've had two men in their 80s approach me in the last 24 hours to share their life story unprompted and tell me how wonderful I am. Can someone tell me why this is happening? Is this what happens when you turn 37?!

Friend: Are you growing your hair out?

Me: Honestly I have no idea. I never thought I'd live this long

In NZ there is a private and a public health system, so psyche! Rich people can get special treatment here too!