Root Beer Man

it also ruined my mood for a fucking week!!! what about that!? what about MY rights

on the other hand, neither will they get along with one another

root beer man knows his purpose

## FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE ##

It is hereby declared, both by and on behalf of the ROOT BEER MAN, that Today is to be set aside as a Grand New Holiday, for the expresse and Sole Purpose of celebrating that inimitable Patriot, the Deputy Director of the FBI, Messr. DAN BONGINO

Now that Messr. DAN BONGINO hath joinèd the RESISTANCE, by leaking day after day the NEFARITIES of Messr. TRUMP and his erstwhile Chum, Messr. EPSTEIN, how long till the vile PELOSI demands I, the ROOT BEER MAN, issue a Publick Apologie, for my longtime MOCKERY (Japes, &c.), of DAN’S BALD HEADE?!!!!

Every One seemeth to be PRAISINGE that vile OAF, viz., Messr. HUNTER BIDEN, utterly IGNORING the Fact that, were it not for him, TRUMP would not be Præsident; for as is knowne, HUNTER did CONSUME, & SELFISHLY, such an enourmous Quantity of EGGS, as to drive their Price thru’ the very ROOF, and thus,

KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor

It is Harde to gainsaye that JESUS, for His Parte, moste likeley Existes, ‘floatinge arounde’ in the Sky, lookinge at us, & Voiceing His Opiniones in the Ears of His Zealots—& So What!? I do not Respeckt Him, and do deny Him my Worshippe. ZEUS, on the other Hand, moste likeley doth not even Existe!!

Why MAGA Hates Superman He stands for truth, justice, and an American way that Trump is tearing down

“Superman sacrifices, protects, and never complains. He’s respectful, reserved, and doesn’t seek thanks…He finds Lois Lane’s success appealing, rather than emasculating. He lifts people up instead of demanding they bow down.”
- @nicholasgrossman.bsky.social
www.arcdigital.media/p/why-maga-h...

“When the spring dries up, the fish live together on land, spitting moisture on each other and dampening each other with the froth.”

BlueSkydotCom™

*Is criticized for my “Rudeness” and lack of “Civility” by a worshipper at the Throne of Moloch*

“Ah, my Apologies, good Sir!!”

[Some few hours later, I let out a Gasp of Realization:]

What could be more profoundly RUDE than worshipping at the Throne of MOLOCH!?

The PEOPLE, have ascended to such HEIGHTS of RUDENESS, in describeing what was Once called, and for All I know may still be called, the “G.O.P.”!! My God… to call them Tyrannicall, & e’en “RACISTE”—have you not Consider’d, that these Words are among the Leaste POLITE, that have e’er been invented!?

The Instante HAROLD & KUMAR went on Aeroplane, I Knew—in a Flash—they’d be suspeckted of Terrorisme, upon doinge “Bong” in the W.C. Thus, clearly,I am a Man of some Wisdom. Yet Now, my so-call’d Brother REFUSETH to let me Name his CHILD? What is Wronge, pray, with the Name TULKU GHYÖNGSAT RIMPOCHE?!

Debated To-day: JOHN ROBERTS: is he a GOOD STEWARD of LAW, or a DIRTY DOG of a MAN? Well, ask not for My Vote: For (1) the Citizens of this Republique lack any Vote vis-à-vis Our JURISTICALL GODS; & (2) I would have None any-way, having lost all Votinge Right, upon My CONVICTION FOR DOUBLE-MURDER!!

Advice most gracious, and gratifyinge withal!! Now I have emptied mine Stine, and am ready to press onward, Friend! To the Forest, wherein the Knaves yea, and “Bloggers,” so PERFIDIOUSLY reside! Two or so Slashes from the Likes of Us, and God’s Virtue shall reign supreme once more upon the Earth!!!

Ew shoe profound insyts that must not be ignórd. The tym thae spend wershiping Devilspel thae coud aem at hyer thinns. Ew mae be clósser to the Nythoud than ew think!

BROTHER!!!

Nowe One can REPOSTE One’s OWNE “Tweets”!!? (Not the approved Term, alas—yet none better hath been discouvered.) As Scripture sayeth: “Like the Dog returninge to his Vomitte,” (… I recall not the Endinge of this Verse, yet I believe it can justly be compleated:) “… the ROOT BEER MAN is a Geniouse!!”

Who could fail to fear the Famouse “AI Machine”? For doth it not seem as tho’ It shall soon out-think the Thinkers, and with such Pouer, and Gusto, as to win the Spelling Bee EVERY Yeare??, yea, such that not even a veritable ROCKY BALBOA of Spellinge, could ev’r vanquish it in fair Conteste??

PENSÈES WHEN LISTENING TO THE “LOTUS SUTRA”: Yea, ‘tis all intriguing, no Doubt. Yette being, as it is, shortly after One O’Clock, I daresay I do not much WANT this famouse “NIRVAÑA”, nay, not even half so much, as I want a Big TURKEY SANDWICH!!!!

Havinge so SLASHINGLY attacked (“TROLL’D”[?]) Messrs. Yglesias & Stancil,, I worry this Expenditure of FIREPOWER INTELLECTUALLE, has left me withoutte the Energies requisite to “take on” those greater LEVIATHANS, viz., Messrs. John Ganz and Hamilton Nolan—alas! Am I then doomed to be… their LUNCH!?

Methinks I am Wise enough to be a Blue Sky WISDOM Poaster, i.e., of Aphoristick & Learnèd NONSENSE, re: Felicity and the Like. Yet I desire to avoid accumulating BAYING Fans; for this would rob me of Time for nobler Pursuits—in particular, finding all the “SHRINES,” in this accursèd Zelda Gayme!!

CLEARLY, if Our Societie is to be saved, theJjames Bond franchise MUST become a Machine, for Punishing the moviegoing Publique, by systematically destroying their bestial and retrograde Pieties!!! Yet in our self-satisfy’d Modern Age, can this mean aught but that James Bond must become… Catholique?!

The City of New York, now holds her “Election”,, & insisteth too that Everyone Else care about its Outcome. LAUGHABLE! For whether it be Andrew Como, or Mormon Zandani,, it mattereth NOT: either Way, this Nation shall persiste, under the Dead-Handed TYRANNIE, of Shadow-Presidente MATTHEW YGLESIAS!!!

So now that moste-villainous State, knowne as Israel, hath unleash’d an unprecedented ATTACK, on the Noble Nation of PERSIA!! SURELY I speak for all Americains when I say, LET THIS MADNESSE CEASE, before its adverse Effeckts put FINE RUGS utterly out of Price-Range, for all God-Fearinge CHRISTIANS!!

UPDATE FROM OUTSIDE “DOGE” HQ: O my dear Freinds, sadly, I have To-day been “canned” from DOGE. For Sake of Efficiencie!? I know not. Yet I do suspecte, that my Exeunt, shall increase the Efficiencie BOTH of that Noble Operacionne, & too that of mine Owne Rise, thru’ the DUOLINGO LEADER BOARDES!!!

UPDATE FROM “DOGE” HQ: As the “Honeymoon” Period gives Way to the “Hard Work of Making America Great Again” Period, Today I am Assigned a New Task, namely, to find the MOSTE EFFICIENT Supplier of BULLETS, to ensure the MOSTE EFFICIENT Dispatchment of All Enemies of our Sublime King! TIPS WELCOME!!

STATEMENT FROM “DOGE” HQ, on the Vile “CR” proposed by the Dog, Mike Johnson:

None Ought Vote “Yea” till Assurances be Obtained, viz., that 1st, Elon Musk be namèd Eternalle KING; 2nd, that Monies be ordain’d unto Developping Pornographick Video-Games, for the King’s Enjoymente, & Saucie Delighte!!

UPDATE FROM “DOGE” HQ: His Majestie Elon, Having nowe Lost (“stock Market”) Frightsome Sums ($$$), now mandateth, that His Royal GARB be WASHED on the COLD-WATER Setting, to save Preciouse Pennies. I w’ld object, to this Disregard of ANTIENT CUSTOM—yet I wish not to be “EFFICIENTISED” out of a JOB!!

UPDATE FROM “DOGE” HQ: Now that Dark RAVEN “Efficiencie” hath Alighted on mine own Roof: for to Efficientize on Preciouse INK, My Quills hath been CONFISCATED—& he who Transcribed mine Reports for Posting，put before a FIRING SQUAD!! Henceforth I must TYPE mine own Dispatches, on Wretched COMPUTER…?😭