Jonathan Rivett

Cut scene from the movie Brazil.

It’s a shame that GTA VI has been delayed but I’m excited by Rockstar’s promise that the extra time will allow them to give all the pedestrians in the game “a rich inner life” and “the capacity to actually experience pain”

One of your all time best.

Maybe dumping poop on voters from an airplane is not a surefire electoral strategy

HA HA! Going to the door of Treasury and screaming "TREAT!"

Would Spandau Ballet have been OK?

don't you know, any leftish politician must dine solely upon a fish skeleton extracted from the garbage and served on an upturned trash can lid in a back alley, while wearing a wooden barrel and a derby hat with a single daisy in it

You did.

Some high school kids could hold their own against a Soviet invasion of the US. Why couldn't the entire army beat the Viet Cong?

Trump: don’t take acepitoemponoene

RFK Jr: *moth crawls out of mouth*

A nude man is in the background, only referred to as “the colonel”

Person watching on tv: well if they say so

John Lyons: No. NO! Please. I'll stop. I'll stop doing journalism! Not Albanese. PLEEEEASE don't tell Anthony Albanese.

John Lyons: No. NO! Please. I'll stop. I'll STOP! Not Albanese. PLEEEEASE don't tell Anthony Albanese.

TECH COMPANY: “Our new operating system is going to blow your fucking mind. It changes everything you can do, ever. Shit you haven’t even imagined. Buckle up, asshole, because this isn’t your dad’s user interface!”

OPERATING SYSTEM: (everything is slightly rounder)

From an average of $25 trillion per person per year to $42 zillion.

You can find centre right conservatives - a lot of them. Look in the parties that once described themselves as "social democratic" or "democratic socialist".

Homemade Life board game with homemade playing cards

My 8-year-old made their own version of the game Life, and it's way more accurate than the original. The path is convoluted. The rules change on a whim (but always in favor of the game's creator). The real estate is outlandishly expensive. The jobs pay either $9K or $999,999K. The goal is unclear.

The disempowerment of the ‘consumer’ in public services Public services are not commercial transactions, yet people accessing essentials such as healthcare, education and aged care are increasingly ‘consumers’, fed the illusion of control.

“I have spent the past 18 months navigating the health system, and if I really had all the rights of a ‘consumer’, almost every interaction would have qualified for a refund.” http://satpa.pe/qQR61kG

Interviewer: What's the naughtiest thing you ever did?

Teresa May: Oh. Goodness me. (Should I ... Should I say I put a table in my room at university?)

I: There must have been a moment.

TM: Gosh. Um. Well... (No. It's far too dull. I'll seem like a complete bore.) I ran through a field of wheat.

Interviewer: What's the naughtiest thing you ever did?

Teresa May: Oh. Goodness me. (Should I ... Should I say I put a table in my room at university?)

I: There must have been a moment.

TM: Gosh. Um. Well... (No. It's far too dull. I'll seem like a complete bore.) I ran through a field of wheat.

Zohran Mamdani do you condemn Mr Bean for his desecration of Whistler's Mother?

Why do I suddenly have the theme song from Round the Twist in my head?

I had to look up who this was. His Wikipedia photo suggests he's Toby McGuire in a sitcom about a school principal accidentally made Chief Justice of the Supreme Court and the wacky antics that take place from then on.

VO: He's a terrible landscaper...

[*lawnmower sound*, *cat screech*]

VO: ...and an even worse grocery clerk...

["You want the rat poison in with the apples, ma'am?"]

VO: ...but how will this kid out of college fare as a counter-terrorism leader?

[montage]

VO: Rob Schneider is... THE NEW GUY!

May as well chuck on a trenchcoat and start saving for a high-tech motorcycle. The future described in cyberpunk is here.

The United States isn't flirting with a cyberpunk future. It's right in the middle of a cyberpunk present.

"Welcome to Tiny Train world, Gregor, you stupid cockroach. You dumb insect."

F-tier: I don't understand pronouns.
E-tier: Declaring pronouns is performative.
D-tier: Pronouns are woke.
C-tier: Pronouns are a symptom of societal decay.
B-tier: There are no pronouns in the Bible.
A-tier: There is no such thing as pronouns.
S-tier: We should use pronouns as nouns.

The protagonist only has to kill Malenia once to save on production costs.

Absolute certainty that this exists somewhere.

A government budget is like a household budget. A government runs like a business. A political coalition is like a family and sometimes a mummy and a daddy spend time apart.

Why do the people in the middle of politics reduce everything to the kind of facile analogies that get 3 likes on LinkedIn?