carddinal

imagine yourself in a big puffy coat. no, bigger than that. much bigger

Hotel Manager

Nobody:

LED headlights: HELLO

The masculine urge to pick up a squirrel and put it to your ear like a phone

OK GOOD MORNING IM NOT LETTING DEPRESSO WIN TODAY 😤😤😤😤

like having an extra pair of hands.

Hallmark Christmas movie idea:

Big City Woman goes to Small Northern Town and proceeds to be gaslit by her love interest and the community that the obviously Santa Claus character isn't actually Santa until she gives up her Big City ways and joins their Christmas Cult

Hippocratic oath: “First, do no harm.”

Hypocritic oath: “YOU should do no harm, but ME, I’m gonna go fuck some shit up.”

The masculine urge to cry

A Venn diagram. The circles are labeled “music from video games”, “music in 7/4 time”, and “music you can fuck to”. In the middle of the diagram as a member of all three sets, it is labeled as “Balatro Theme”

If you're following me right now, you're getting in on the ground floor of something incredible [drops the ball horrendously]

I'm emotional eating. The emotion is love. I love eating.

leaving this fleshlight on while going into Dollar General

Ty for the encouragement 😭😭

If you wanted to support/tip/help me here’s the link:

streamlabs.com/vio/tip

Obviously I don’t expect anything but highly appreciate any help while I lost my only source of income for the next 30 days 🥺🖤

everyone is thinking and worrying about politics but i am thinking about big breasts. and worrying about them a little

Any day can be a Monday if you have the right attitude. Don't let something as trivial as a calendar tell you what day it is.

Be careful! During Halloween, the veil between our world and the great beyond is at its thinnest. You will never be in more danger of becoming an actual slutty nurse

me *driving past the apocalypse*: Horses

remember perversion is just one version of me

Let's all just pretend this first post of mine is an *absolute* banger, plz and ty

reskeet if you got a fat ass 👁️👄👁️

Can AI do this? (write a mid post between sobs)

There are worse ideas than a honeymoon at the Spam Museum in Austin, Minnesota.

Fuck cops except the ones who pull over Cybertrucks

Making every decision by asking myself WWCD (What Would Columbo Do?) Last night I chose a bowl not a plate for chilli and I haven't regretted it for a second

Sexily tracing shapes between your butt acne to make a Pegasus

I’m a slut for a lot of things apparently

every day i have to figure out what to eat and i’ve already got so much on my plate