ocelot thot

CHILDREN! CHILDREN!
FUTURE! FUTURE!

Aww yeah. That's the good stuff!

The tight, form-fitting outfits help a LOT with keeping my attention focused on the screen. 🥵

This is why @businesssocks.bsky.social hates watching the Olympics with me. She's trying to explain the training regimens, scoring, and nuances of the sport we're watching from the TikTok videos she's seen, and I'm just staring slack-jawed at the screen like BOOOOOOBS. BUUUUUTTTTS. THIIIIGHS.

The thighs on these speed skaters, my lawd-a-mighty. I volunteer as tribute for head crushing drills.

Me, whenever they show me a picture of their homemade confections: "uhhhhh, that got weed in it?"

Guuuhhhhh! Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?

Strong start to the Olympics this year.

Here's an idea for the Yum! CEO. Go back to 1989. Replicate, as closely as possible, the ingredients, cooking processes, flavor, and texture of a period-accurate PH pan pizza. Put some serious capital into this. Literally do all you can to recreate the Pizza Hut experience of 1989. Then you win.

Luigi Mangione surrounded by flames grinning with the text Repent or Perish

Westboro Baptist Church tried to make an Anti-Luigi Mangione poster but it just looks like Luigi is threatening billionaires and goes unironically hard af

"Do not place any elements over top of the rings" is giving big "I'm learning CSS" vibes

Clinically, profoundly itchy. Please, someone scrape a barbecue brush across my skin.

GOOD LORD I AM PRURITIC

Any word if SHID is also available for my other car?

Whiskey Friday with Tony Doukoupil

he always had trouble with anti-virus measures

A screenshot from the end credits of "Match Game" (ca. 1980) showing a still photo of one of the sponsor's products with the name of the sponsor, "TUSSY", in a large Times New Roman font at the bottom of the screen. The products, left to right, are a roll-on deodorant, a stick deodorant, and a cream deodorant, all labeled with the "TUSSY" text logo

A screenshot of the end credits of "Match Game" (1980) showing one of the sponsor's products. Surprisingly, their slogan did not make use of the word "armpitussy".

Another fun fact: Rapper Tekashi 6ix9ine, well known for his love of good, wholesome breakfasts, takes his name from this cereal!

You're telling me.

Tfw you text the plug for some Orinoco flow and he replies with "come through"

You put any weed in them brownies?

Look at what they took from us. A decade ago, this would have been a snow day for millions across the country, an unexpected, exciting little treat for the working stiff. But now you're expected to work from anywhere in any conditions. Sleep in and a enjoy a cozy day? No. Back to work, maggot.

A picture of one of the frames of the "Goofus and Gallant" comic in "Highlights For Kids"; In this frame, Goofus is illustrated throwing pieces of candy from his left hand into his mouth with the caption reading "Goofus samples the candy"

If they don't want kids to behave like him, then maybe they shouldn't make Goofus look so damn cool while he's doing it.

Cast iron pizza ASMR for your frigid Saturday evening enjoyment.

Jeezy creezy, that's crazy. Not unexpected for a Disney property, but still nuts!

What does one of those go for at Epcot? When we went to Disneyland this past summer, a pint of beer was like $16.

Great minds think alike!

Or maybe "what's it gonna take to get one of our finest models in you?" 😉😉😉

"What's it gonna take to get you into one of our finest models?"

*nods sagely*