Matt Gordon

GM: Charisma check.

Mamdani: [rolls natural 20]

GM: that’s a d6 how did you

Mamdani: [direct to camera] Did you know you can check out board games at your local public library? 😊

Amazing - like a stone sarlacc!

look we're all making a big bet on AI! and if it pays off as big as we hope, well, it's going to make a handful of people super rich and you're going to lose your job but get to watch mickey mouse fuck geralt from the witcher. if it doesn't pay off well then you get to pay for the bailouts

The Nobel Prize committee should announce the World Cup winner tomorrow

Trump and Infantino on stage together and for a moment it’s difficult to fathom which one is the bigger cunt.

Amazing to see the own goal was from Pedro doing the famous Zola finish 😍

Wow, amazing performance 👏 💙#cfc

Bringing on the youth against Barca 😂

Yes! I hope that does Delap the world of good now he’s back from injury ( and suspension) #cfc

As with all #cfc matches, 2-0 is not enough for me to be able to relax - keep going blues!

Lamal who???

And they can’t stop themselves wanting to touch his magnificent hair 😂

Three offside goals! 🤦‍♂️

What is it about CuCu that makes opposition players badly foul him so often? Loving this so far, more goals please #cfc 💙

Refuge isn’t weakness. It’s an investment. And the returns are human, immeasurable, and generational.

Britain once understood that. It can again.

8/8

[Scene is a kitchen - a middle aged woman called JANET is boiling peas at the stove. A younger more colourfully dressed woman named LIZ approached her.] JANET: Ugh... LIZ: What's up? JANET: I am so bored of cooking peas! LIZ: Have you tried... AI peas? JANET: AI peas? LIZ: They're peas with AI! [Liz holds up to us a packet of peas labelled: Pea-i AI - Peas with AI]. LIZ: Al-powered peas harness the potential of your peas JANET: What LIZ [Now a voiceover as we cut to a whizzy technology diagram of peas all connected by meaningless dotted lines] Why not take your peas to the next level with Al Peas' new Al tools to power your peas? [Show a techno diagram of a pea with a label reading 'AI' pointing to a random zone in it] LIZ: Each pea has Al in a way we haven't quite worked out yet but it's fine [Show Janet and Liz now in a Matrix-style world of peas] LIZ: With Al peas you can supercharge productivity and make AI work for your peas! JANET: What LIZ: Shut up LIZ: Our game-changing Pea-Al gives you the freedom to unlock the potential of the power of the future of your peas workflow From opening the bag of peas to boiling the peas to eating the peas To spending millions on adding Al to the peas and then having to work out what that even means. JANET: Is it really necessary to- LIZ [Grabbing Janet by the collar]: THE PEAS HAVE GOT AI, JANET [Cut to an advert ending screen, with the bag of peas and the slogan: AI PEAS: Just 'Peas' for god's sake buy the AI peas. [Ends]

Every ad now

I used to get mad when people misused "decimated" to refer to things that weren't 1/10th destroyed, but I've given it some thought and now I've done a complete 360 on it

We flounced out of the EU on the say-so of politicians who lied to us. And what a total shitshow that’s turned out to be. The polar opposite of what they promised. Now the call to flounce out of the ECHR. By the same people. Telling the same lies. Has the country been kicked in the head by a horse?

"We have to cancel kristallnacht 2.0 because the guy was one of the people we were grooming to take part in it" is a heck of a twist to be sure

Undertale

We are discussing age verification to access the internet. If you don't want your child to access specific content on the internet, the solution is to parent your child, not to have the state forcibly remove the security, civil liberties, anonymity, and privacy of every adult using the internet.

📌

#BookSky

Why is trump in the trophy lift 🤦‍♂️ get him out the way

What a match, and we don’t get the penalty we should have had for the shirt pull on Joao Pedro - could have been 4-0! #cfc

I love that the #chelsea world champions shirt look like a Zola shirt with the 25 on 💙

Never change Cole Palmer 😂💙

YES!!! 💙💙💙 #cfc

Love Trevoh 💙#cfc

Finally a correct decision! Get off you hair pulling twat! #cfc