Amy Dillon

Currently looksminning

some of you are looksmaxxing when you need to be booksmaxxing

People who say there’s so much less drama raising boys have not raised Bears fans.

Am I even a mom if I don’t dedicate a portion of every football game to noting which players are wearing Guardian Caps & saying how proud I am of them.

DHS Releases Watchlist Of Mothers Driving Cars

DHS Releases Watchlist Of Mothers Driving Cars https://theonion.com/dhs-releases-watchlist-of-mothers-driving-cars/

finally, we're living through precedented times

Goodreads trying to do my 2025 Year in Books like there aren't four more whole entire days to go.

The tree is aglow. The kids are home for the holidays. My daughter just made fun of how I yawned.

I forgot to buy an Advent calendar, so my 13-year-old has decided to mark each day with a dramatic reading of a Minion meme.

So close

My dog’s been standing at attention by her food bowl for the last 10 min. Who has the heart to remind her dinner’s not til 4?

They should do MyChart Wrapped

This is a tiny sliver of mine. But I have no shame in my nap game!

Sometimes I'll make a big mistake and think about it for years and years then sometimes I'll make a little mistake and think about it for years and years

Kindergartener, holding up a squishy pink circle from the merch table at the school book fair: What is this?

Me: That’s a mousepad. Do you know what it’s for?

K: Hmmm…

Me: You’ve probably never—

K: Oh! It’s a bed for a mouse!

Found in the middle school library

Me! I’m the people. 😆

You can try to do everything right as a parent, but your middle schooler still might fall under the influence of kids who are into cologne.

INVENTOR OF THE LIBRARY: hey check this out

We’re visiting my mom for Thanksgiving, so she’s doing lots of special things to prepare for our trip, like sending me a link to the results of her google search “is it wrong to call someone strong-willed.”

I'm tired of being the bigger person. Just once, I want to be the smaller person, tiny enough to be carried around in someone's pocket, shouting petty retorts.

Yep, Weezer’s Blue Album. On cassette! It looked so different than anything else being sold at Media Play in Rockford, Illinois in 1994. Loved it when I was 16, still love it now.

Two sets of drawers side by side. On one side all drawers are nearly closed, and on the other all the drawers are open with clothes spilling out.

There are two types of people in the world, and they marry each other.

Since nothing matters anymore and there are no rules, let’s knock out Thanksgiving this week, do Christmas next week, then have six beautiful weeks of that full goblin mode space between Xmas and new years where time doesn’t exist and sweatpants are required dress

Showed a class of 4th graders how to find the price on a book (preparing for book fair season). Told them that it was the U.S. price unless the Blue Jays win the World Series, because then we’d have to use Canadian dollars. A surprising number seemed prepared to accept new overlords from the North.

I cannot get over how absolutely ludicrous they look harassing people doing laundry. Somehow I didn't realize fascism would look so fucking stupid

Jeff Kinney holding a microphone next to a woman with her hand to her ear on stage at a school event.

Still doesn’t seem real that Jeff Kinney, author of the perennially most popular book series in my school library (and in my home)—Diary of a Wimpy Kid—came to MY SCHOOL yesterday! It was the experience of a lifetime for our students. Here we are trying to hear over the screams of his adoring fans.

Yes! I’m reading this with my 8th grade son, and lately my 11th grader has been listening, too. It’s captivating! Before, I’d always been mystified as to how Jonestown happened. This book has cleared so much up—and the lessons can be applied to modern-day situations as well!

they should invent sleep that's always ten hours long