Dylan Roth

Here’s an ad we put together for @obscuresportusa.bsky.social that’ll air on this coming Sunday’s episode that we’re pretty proud of.

I’m gonna be honest I do not love that hat. I’ll leave wearing that hat to other folks

I have purchased my first MLB tickets of the year

The other day I caught a glimpse of an Onion RFK article on real newsprint and it genuinely took me a minute to realize it was the Onion. Which is both terrifying and kind of beautiful.

joe keery is bargain bin patrick gill to me

Mayor Mamdani Breaks His Promise to NYC Public Libraries The Struggle Against Defunding Libraries Continues...

I hope New Yorkers will challenge Mamdani about this. Too often, people feel they need to be absolutely for or against a politician — ignoring their missteps or throwing them out with the bathwater. You can like and/or believe in someone and still challenge them to deliver on their promises.

It's kinda annoying how solar panels were hung around the neck of the left as impractical pie in the sky treehugger shit *right* up until it started outcompeting every other energy source. Then suddenly, instead of going "hey the left was correct about solar" it's no longer a "left" idea!

Sorry to get radical but I don’t think it’s my job or yours to embrace, accept, understand - and certainly not to use - the thing being sold to us as AI. I don’t like any part of it, so I won’t. I’m missing out? Good, that’s what I want. You’re worried about me missing out? That’s fuckin weird, man.

Post your contextless photoshops

Heaving a sigh of relief to find that the owner of the Mets was merely mentioned in business dealings with a world-famous convicted sex offender and in one suspicious but not necessarily damning redacted photograph, and not explicitly implicated in the sex trafficking ring everyone knew about

It is, as my son like so say, "Morning Time"

Of Mice and Keyboards

Want donut. Want to have had donut. Love having had donut

If I had a news program i would occasionally split screen footage of the President talking with footage of watermelons being smashed in by baseball bats

I can’t believe I missed an opportunity to make specific fun of the guys in the 501st who dress as Imperial officers. Like it’s not cringe enough for you to wear the Stormtrooper armor, you gotta dress up in the ugly gray fashie getups worn by the pathetic worms who get executed as comic relief

Spider-Man experts: In the years since the 2002 film, has Peter ever told a villain "Hey freak show! You're goin' nowhere."

This is the kind of hard-hitting journalism people expect from me

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Michael Caine is one of the easier impressions to do because he’s got such a clearly defined affect, but if you’re not careful you’ll end up morphing into the Geico Gecko

I’ll bring it to our next practice

Activate Wife Beam

Stormtroopers weren't all that relevant to this video I just think dead stormtroopers are funny

*intense trailer narrator*
New York City. Where 1400 rock bands compete for bookings at only 20 rock clubs, and for the loyalty of their cumulative 93 customers

Their mouths were fizzy with the cherry cola / they had the privacy of bedsheets, and all the other kids were mostly in comas

Then you will wake up and it will be nighttime, when you are supposed to be asleep. And so the dilemma continues

I made it back pretty late and the meds they gave me made me sleep late, but I’m still $100 away from being able to cover the room for today. Anything helps!

Cut it out. It’s daytime.

Haunted by the idea of making a parody of the “Detroit: Become Human” cover that says “Escalator: Become Stairs”

Waddaya think? Should Dalton write it?

New episode of the bonus pod now streaming for patrons at patreon.com/dylananddalton. Start your one week free trial today!

Still $300 away from the goal, but I’m currently in the ER for some excruciating tooth pain and have no idea how long I’ll be here tonight. Hoping to raise at least $120 so I can cover the room tomorrow. Anything helps!