@hawktuahofordos.bsky.social
Do YOU have any dark theories about the Simpsons? Please let us know
It was Waylon Smithers
11.09.2025 14:36 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0I wish I did not see it over my TL in like 4 angles like a fallout VAT system kill
11.09.2025 14:06 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0I think Maggie shot Charlie Kirk
10.09.2025 21:10 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Nightcore might be the worst genre ever created
Youβre listening to Alvin and the chipmunks with anime girls.
I was that one homie who never left Platoβs cave
08.09.2025 16:39 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Dark Simpson Theory 101:
How did Arnold become the president in the Simpsons movie if he wasnβt born in America?
There are no true rules to this system.
He was pre selected, as was his in-lawβs family member.
Power is not born, itβs picked.
And it will be replaced.
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Just learned this place used to be called Sneedβs suck and fuck
Hilarious
New Dark Simpson theory this weekend β€οΈ
Been getting into the idea of killing people
28.08.2025 16:39 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Dark Simpson Theories will now officially be a Theory per week
The grind was getting too much for me
I promise as a father and a patriot of the Virgin Islands, that I will do better from now on
Dark Simpson Theory 100!
FINALLY!
As a redux of Dark Simpson Theory 001: I have a new theory!
What if Gravesdigger Billie is an alternate persona of Groundskeeper Willie, similar to the Incredible Hulk!
Do not touch Willieβ¦ or youβll make him angryβ¦
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Dark Simpson Theory 099:
Why did George H.W Bush once say that families should be more like the Waltons than the Simpsons?
Many simpheads wouldnβt know this fun fact. But Simpsons Creator Matt Groening is actually a pen name of Bushβs running mate Micheal Dukakis!
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Dark Simpson Theory 098:
Is Barney Nelson from the future?
Many fans have noticed the similarities between this pair. While Nelsonβs father has already been shown, weβve never seen that much about Barneyβs past.
As we know, everyone who looks alike is the same person.
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Re-issued dark Simpson theory 097 for accidentally writing βMike Berryβ instead of Chuck Berry
Every journalist is afforded one mistake. No more. Ever again.
Dark Simpson Theory 097:
Is Skinner RACIST?
Skinner put an abrupt stop to βMy-Ding-A-Lingβ as reprised by Student Chuck Berger, named after Chuck Berry, the black artist who did the original cover of the song
Sometimesβ¦ Iβm glad heβs not really Seymour Skinner. ARMIN!
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Dark Simpson Theory 096:
Did the Simpsons writers have insider information about the events of 9/11?
Whoβs to say! As we all know, the best thing to do with a conspiracy is plant it in the most watched cartoon ever so some tweaker moron will figure it out years later.
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Dark Simpsons Theories Update:
After we reach 100 dark Simpson theories, I have made the executive decision to reduce my theory output to once a week
Working 9-5 and thinking of a bad Simpson joke every day has taken its toll.
When you pull back the wizards curtain, there is just a man behind it.
Dark Simpson Theory 095:
What KILLED Larry the barfly?
Alcoholism. Excessive drinking has been linked to a number of serious conditions, such as arrhythmia, cirrhosis, hepatitis and depression. Larry quite literally drank himself to death.
Just kidding, it was FUGU!
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Dark Simpson Theory 094:
Is the Simpson gene real?
People often speculate that the βSimpson Geneβ that causes simp males to be less smart is fake
While Homer may have a crayon in his brain, the real source of his idiocy isβ¦
THE FOG THAT TURNS PEOPLE INSIDE OUT!
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Dark Simpson Theory 093:
Who is the worlds BIGGEST Simpson fan?
As part of a survey measuring how much Simpsons every American has watched, the number one Simp fan was revealed to be⦠JOHN FETTERMAN!
For some reason he only watched the scenes of Bart naked thoughβ¦
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I hate light Simpson theories
21.08.2025 16:21 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Dark Simpson Theory 092:
For years, fans have speculated that famous simpwriter (thatβs what we call Simpsons writers) John Swartzwelder was actually an alias used by several people
Well⦠did you notice? John Swartzwelder is an anagram for⦠MAGGIE SIMPSON???
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Dark Simpson Theory 091:
What is the most EVIL thing Mr Burns has ever done?
Hitting Bart with his car? Abandoning his son? Blotting out the SUN?????
Noβ¦
Mr Burns worst clearly is
THE ROBOTIC RICHARD SIMMONS
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Dark Simpson Theory 090:
Has the rest of the Simpsons been imagined while Homer was comatose? Is that why the show isnβt funny anymore?
No.
Unfortunately, thereβs not really any theory to explain why things arenβt the way they were. Times change.
You canβt go back.
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Dark Simpson Theory 089:
Was Maudeβs death foreshadowed?
In season 6 episodes βThe Springfield Connectionβ and βBart of Darknessβ, Maude is thought to have died
6+6 (the number of the season) = 12 -1 (one character leaving the series) = 11
THE SEASON SHE DIEDβ¦
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Dark Simpson Theory 088:
Who will Milhouse end up with? Not Lisa!
In the episode Lemon of Troy, Luanne is revealed to be from Shelbyville, where cousin marriage is legal.
Could Shelbyville Milhouse be a secret van-houten? A cousinβ¦. That
Milhouse will marryβ¦
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Dark Simpson Theory 087:
Is Eddie Ralphβs real father?
Many fans have pointed out that eddieβs hair resembles Ralphβs far more than his father Chief Wiggum. What gives?
Originally, Ralph was intended to evolve into Eddie at level 12, but was replaced by metapod.
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Dark Simpson Theory 086:
Who is Mr Plow?
A mystery that has alluded Simpheads for over 30 years. But I think I have the answer
Based on his exact measurements, I have determined that Mr Plowβs true identity is max power.
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Dark Deltarune Theory 085:
My manager has told me deltarune is popular right now, so I thought Iβd corner the market.
Who is the roaring knight?
After doing some digging on potential candidates, I have concluded it must be
BART SIMPSON
Iβll never sell out, NEVER!
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Dark Simpson Theory 084:
The Flaming Homer and Flaming Moe are beloved drinks in Springfield. But whatβs the difference???
While the flaming Homer commonly contains Beer, spirits and cough syrup. Flaming moe contains fentanylβ¦
Itβs a severe problem in the USA.
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Dark Simpson Theory 083:
Is Homer secretly a genius?
Despite the crayon in his brain and the apparent βSimpsons Geneβ, Homer once correctly discovered the mass of the higs boson particle. How could he be so smart?
Simple! He is a fictional character. Like me.
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