mrs. daniil dankovsky (beard)

q: why did the outfielders raise their arms during this play?

a: according to the ancient scrolls in which the rules of baseball were found, if a ball lands and doesn't bounce that ball is declared god. the players were worshipping god. i doubt there will be a game 7 or any further baseball seasons

legolas…what do your lived experiences tell you

Tall tree in an urban backyard, its golden and red foliage continuing to show more and more.

This story is developing nicely.

Posting (x sports team) has the mandate of heaven will never not be funny to me

Catching up on Hallowstream and I was 100% convinced the Hokey Cokey was a bit Jack was doing until I googled it

Kat Abugazeh’s campaign has crossed a threshold where the risk she’s taking is significant enough and the actions admirable enough I sorta am past caring if it’s a publicity stunt/brand building exercise or not, it’s still brave and worthy of respect.

Holy shit

I like how Zohran Mamdani scandals are like "He called his old cousin his aunt one time" and Andrew Cuomo scandals are like "He sexually assaulted 13 women."

Loop Coaster 1 looks too intense for me!

i was all in on mamdani until i found out that he called his dad's cousin his "aunt" instead of using the term we all know and love, "cousin once removed"

CHOTINER: So you asked for a Birkin bag?
KOKO: Yes. Possession Bag.
CHOTINER: And you had the funds to acquire this?
KOKO: No, Professor Purchase Koko Gorilla
CHOTINER: That doesn't sound like the funds were justifiable.
KOKO: Hostility Interviewer

Eva Yan has what I want (she and Dankovsky mutually think of each other as their weird little pet)

Baseball? More like BASEDball

I wish we had Jennifer today

Met a woman walking through Tokyo last night, must have been a seamstress or something because she was holding a big pair of scissors. I think she asked me something but it was hard to make out from under her mask. I just said, “Sorry, I don’t speak Japanese!” and walked on. Hope she got home safe

Can a fanfic just be a blingee of Daniil Dankovsky that says HES GOING TO KILL HIMSELF<3 on it

Can a woman with IBS ever find love...

you should be able to steal a home run if you want to. just drop the bat and try to book it for the fence before anyone can tag you. if you can make it all the way out there and throw yourself over the fence, you're good

YOU: what if his name was penis parker and he shot web by jacking his dick lol
YOUR FRIEND WHO WAS TOO INTO COMICS GROWING UP: They actually did that as a whole arc in the late 80s. Wasn't Conway's best work.

Being in a depressive episode feels like I'm taking poison damage every minute I'm awake

you can't always be at Target at 10 pm. Sometimes you have to live with yourself

🧵: It's almost time for...Rick or Treat!

(Thanks to all the happy travelers who've sent in fun Halloween shots over the years. I’d love to see your own travelin’ costumes here on Bluesky!)

Depression nap (consume no food) -> wake up at 9 pm and finally eat for the first time -> first food of the day triggers my IBS -> have to go to sleep for work tomorrow -> repeat

🚨New fic!🚨

A Hands-On Guide To Your Changing Body
Kaiju No. 8, Reno/Kafka PWP.

Kafka discovers something new his kaiju body can do. Reno is normal about it. 👍

archiveofourown.org/works/72916666

You're so right is the thing

I think girls can think their lives are meaningless, as a treat, without being "depressed"

Go where you want, die where you must.

Eyyyy I'm cryin' here!