[Scene is heaven, in clouds. JESUS, acting as God’s PA, is briefing God, a big ball of light with arms sat at an executive desk, with a computer on it]. Jesus [holding a tablet computer]: OK, so - The next one to check in on is… ‘Earth’. God: Spelling? Jesus: E-A-R-T-H. [God types into the computer] tap-tap-tap-tap-tap. Tap. God: F—ing hell. What’s happened here!? We need to complain - get me the manager. Jesus: Uh, well, the most powerful one is… [Jesus turns his iPad round to show God. We can’t see the screen] God: What is that. I mean, it’s been a while but that’s definitely not how I designed them. Are you sure we’ve got the right planet? Jesus: Yes, this is the… top human. God: Off and on it again Jesus: I’ll book the meteor [Ends]

Off and on it

23.01.2026 00:14 — 👍 677    🔁 240    💬 5    📌 12

Elizabeth line had all that as well. Once it opened and became a far bigger success than anyone predicted it all got forgotten.

30.08.2025 18:33 — 👍 15    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

The cost of living crisis is putting basic essentials beyond the reach of most Londoners.

23.04.2025 13:45 — 👍 32    🔁 11    💬 1    📌 1

A significant cyber op is actively trying to take this *VERY IMPORTANT* news article down and erase its existence.

21.02.2025 23:14 — 👍 109    🔁 80    💬 0    📌 4

😊

11.02.2025 18:20 — 👍 1819    🔁 502    💬 44    📌 34