Spinster Emily

I used to think the term was hilarious for white people, and then I learned the origin is "whip cracker" and... that's not as funny 😬

I realized recently that my nose piercing is older than most of my students.

I am SAFE.
#maine

I'm off all social media effective immediately.

FULLY JUSTIFIED.

You see, the movie Monster House was about a haunted house, & as it turns out the owner had been a circus freak show attraction before moving into her dream home & dying shortly after. She-as the house-ate people who ridiculed her or damaged her property for funsies.

Kids movies are f'g WILD, dude.

He straight up looks like the painting in Ghostbusters 2

Constance the Monster House was fully justified in her actions. Don't @ me.

Twitter currently:

Ridiculous Elon screenshot
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Racist
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Cute puppy
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Mutual's post
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Psychotic incel
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😊

It's not cancer!!

Still not sure what's going on and probably won't be able to afford more testing for a while, but I'll settle for this answer right now!

Oh dear gawd how did I forget her?! My heart broke for her. Still does.

And Monica Lewinsky and Marcia Clarke and Anita Hill and Stella Lieback... the 90s were a media shitshow of misogyny.

The entire world owes this woman an apology.

Not all heroes wear capes. Some carry Sharpies and pet people caught in the rain.

That sounds nice. Comforting AND sustainable.

It bothers me that the villain in Ratatouille was only considered a bad guy because he did not want his food cooked by rats.

I mean, has anyone even considered throwing paper towels at it yet?!

My grandmother held on for almost a month after she was given last rites - those 98 yr olds will surprise you. I just hope he's happily resting and binging something awesome on Netflix.

Has anyone tried raking the hurricane, or perhaps taking a Sharpie and simply rerouting it?

Jezus Sheo, you've got me on Jimmy watch! 😭

The episode of The Simpsons where Sideshow Bob goes to prison from rigging the mayoral election... it just... it gives me soothing feelings.

"The dead have risen and are voting republican!" ~Bart

"No chilren have ever meddled with the reputation party and lived to tell about it." ~Bob

I have a Carter/Mondale '76 bumper sticker on my car- to say this man is a national treasure is the understatement of the decade.

Zeke too! 😍😍

AT DAWN WE RIDE!

FourCHAN not Foursquare. I actually feel pretty good about myself for not bothering to remember a racist app.