MAGYAR • McCHEESE

was having a normal conversation with a friend last night & she threw in "ah yes.. probably due to the eclipse" always jarring to have to carry on like that's not insane

Opening a rival restaurant to Dumpling Union called Dumpling Confederacy

Going to get a shirt that says "Butlerian Jihad NOW" and a hat that says "Mentat Strong"

@jessehawken.bsky.social have you seen Incubus that William Shatner movie that's entirely in Esperanto

Jfc my itinerant boomer roommates are coming back this week, they made 2 separate groupchats where 1 has a random person in it, took forever to clarify if they're returning Tues or Weds, sent the groupchat a message meant for me about another roommate & now he's mad at them

What is this from?

10. William Henry Harrison - executed massive native land theft and genocide in the midwest pre-presidency, immediately died after inauguration from standing in the rain. Stubborn doofus.

9. William McKinley - Imperialist agent of Satan. Deserved being shot like a rabid dog.

8. James Buchanan - didn't stop Southern succession or the Mormon scourge. Bitchmade fool.

7. Herbert Hoover - corporate hack, did nothing about Great Depression. Greedy coward.

6. Donald Trump - comically corrupt, drove everyone insane, mismanaged covid, continuing Holocaust 2. Venal jackass pig.

5. Joe Biden - fixed nothing, did Holocaust 2. Nasty braindead ghoul.

4. Ronald Reagan - hollowed out entire government, enabled multiple genocides. Himbo shithead.

3. Andrew Jackson - accelerated ethnic cleansing, crashed national economy. Belligerent lumpen gentry hick.

2. George W Bush - initiated apocalyptic forever war, crashed global economy. Absolute dunce.

Thread of Worst Presidents, brief description of their crimes historic and personal:

1. Andrew Johnson - strangled Reconstruction in the crib. Resentful idiot drunkard.

latest shrinkflation suspicion: they're putting fewer papers in the zig zags. These use to last me twice as long & I've smoked a pretty consistent amount of cigs & spliffs for years

They should have me on Jubilee vs 20 Israelis and I convince them all to k*ll th*mselves

All Tings Considered with Irie Glass

Also everyone's like Utah white and dubbed in Spanish

They're showing some sort of hallmark movie in the cafe I'm at that heavily involves a priest and a talking dog

All colonial context aside it's extremely funny to have intentionally populated Australia with the palest most easily burned people in the world

Had a dream the economy was Shrek-based and the money was called Shrekels

A salty beer?... why, that's like if the ocean got you drunk

Had a scary dream about a psychosexual abuse cult secretly run by Henry Winkler

They should let me in the criterion closet just for being a cool guy

My boss printed and framed a zoom screenshot of a lab meeting which I have to admit is pretty funny

I know it's been a bit now but I really wasn't expecting American pope. Weird as hell. Well played, conclave... well played

You guys have to watch the show Black Sails if you haven't, first 2 seasons especially rule, Woods Rogers becomes a major character in the 3rd season, writing takes a nose dive later on but still great acting & cinematography throughout

the inevitability of self-driving technology and the oligarchs that own it is going to be to do to public transit what uber did to taxis