MAGYAR • McCHEESE

I will grant Melania this sympathy, you know she looked at him and thought okay 5-7 years tops before his heart explodes

thought it was weird at the time but in retrospect it's great that most nursery rhymes are about dying in horrific ways. Getting crushed by a bridge, falling out of a tree, the plague. I hope we're still incepting toddlers with nightmare imagery to inure them to tragedy and death

It's pretty crazy to name a children's book character Tigger in 1925

The coked out drugrunner thugs who operate out of Fort Bragg as Delta Force kidnapped the head of state of a country of 30 million people on the pretense of stopping narcotrafficking and terrorism

Is any journalist ever going to write an article about how the whole IDF was obviously rolling balls on MDMA the whole time they were murdering and destroying Gaza? It's one of the most insane aspects of the whole thing that I have never seen seriously discussed

Stranger Things has been a great vindication of my long-held stance that child actors should be illegal

Death by Lightning - Wikipedia

@totalusrankium.bsky.social have you seen this yet en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_b...

One thing I've noticed about the economy over the last year or so: cardboard delivery boxes have gotten oddly elaborate

The Lord drives a F150, cross the sky, haulin the sun

The biohazard symbol is so sick, it really puts the nuclear symbol to shame

A bar called Milton's with the tagline "Paradise Found!"

"Rhode Island" might be the worst name of any territory ever. Not an island and couldn't even bother to call it "Rhodes" like the actual island. Presaging centuries of stupid bullshit from this jackass country everyone has to pretend is fine. Fucking bullshit

Had a dream my boomer roommate was getting really into Linkin Park but he thought they were Eminem

was having a normal conversation with a friend last night & she threw in "ah yes.. probably due to the eclipse" always jarring to have to carry on like that's not insane

Opening a rival restaurant to Dumpling Union called Dumpling Confederacy

Going to get a shirt that says "Butlerian Jihad NOW" and a hat that says "Mentat Strong"

@jessehawken.bsky.social have you seen Incubus that William Shatner movie that's entirely in Esperanto

Jfc my itinerant boomer roommates are coming back this week, they made 2 separate groupchats where 1 has a random person in it, took forever to clarify if they're returning Tues or Weds, sent the groupchat a message meant for me about another roommate & now he's mad at them

What is this from?

10. William Henry Harrison - executed massive native land theft and genocide in the midwest pre-presidency, immediately died after inauguration from standing in the rain. Stubborn doofus.

9. William McKinley - Imperialist agent of Satan. Deserved being shot like a rabid dog.

8. James Buchanan - didn't stop Southern succession or the Mormon scourge. Bitchmade fool.

7. Herbert Hoover - corporate hack, did nothing about Great Depression. Greedy coward.

6. Donald Trump - comically corrupt, drove everyone insane, mismanaged covid, continuing Holocaust 2. Venal jackass pig.

5. Joe Biden - fixed nothing, did Holocaust 2. Nasty braindead ghoul.

4. Ronald Reagan - hollowed out entire government, enabled multiple genocides. Himbo shithead.

3. Andrew Jackson - accelerated ethnic cleansing, crashed national economy. Belligerent lumpen gentry hick.

2. George W Bush - initiated apocalyptic forever war, crashed global economy. Absolute dunce.

Thread of Worst Presidents, brief description of their crimes historic and personal:

1. Andrew Johnson - strangled Reconstruction in the crib. Resentful idiot drunkard.