mammon

(stepping out of the shadows with a switchblade) is this your switchblade? i found it in the shadows

Yeah, well I was burning down a rainforest before every google search already. So really it's net neutral for me.

muting this because i wish i said 'i'm on a eatfood diet'

Mookie to social media:

respectfully, gape gratorade

oh 'unconcerned' yeah well there's a lot of sugar too

come on it's like hella electrolytes

cracking open a grape gatorade for the pasta sauce

damn 😔

Riddle me this bitch and then I pull up my shirt to show you my rash

did you get it toad

death comes for us all. except for my buddy craig. he’s a 5000 year old demonic entity

for emphasis

thats hansome

jonas brithers are from new jersey (the garden state)

leak of kingdom hearts ii for wii

holy shit ..

i'm on an eatfood diet

'why don't you take a picture, it'll last longer.' simply put, i'm startled by the shutter sound

elated kiké hernandez

seal teams 1 through 5 are really easy to get on to. they let me on seal team 3 when i showed them how fast i can tie my shoes

have you or a loved one recently been wronged by a mcdonald or other fine fast food establishment, i will fight for you

patrick bateman in american psycho saying 'let's see what's popular with friends' in the style of 'let's see paul allen's card'

every day i say this exact sentence in this exact tone of voice

Throwing this lamp through my bedroom window when I realize there's no lightbulb in it

i would try to hide my ignorance

powerful

i've never eaten a peanut

hey how does everyone usually figure out where your judge and jury live?

busted hydrant couple blocks down

yeah the beach. thanks 👍