Chris Somerville

scene from the 2000 movie Chopper with the caption “he got stabbed twice and still aura farmed”

The zoomers have found out about Chopper

I think of this tweet often

GUY DIRECTING AKIRA: In this scene, I would like the motorbike to do the Akira Slide

that’s right

da world is poison

Cool history dude, but before I really get into it do you happen to know if it was written by the victors?

Dogbert has been executed by firing squad

It important to know that there are two major Facebook pages dedicated to Brisbane weather forecasts and they both fucking hate each other

I can bring back the dead but they can only live in Adelaide

they’re beating my ass in the temple of blessings

what was on the rest of the list

imagine owning a newspaper and still having to write a letter to the editor of a completely different newspaper

always keep em guessing

only the most normal people on earth air their grievances in a letter to the Australian newspaper

can you image an arts festival not guided by a real estate agent and an airport manager? makes me sick just to think about

I reply “let’s go” and we end up blowing up a water reservoir

added to a group chat where I don’t know most of the people and was added late so it’s mostly people saying ‘sounds good’ and ‘I’m in’ but I don’t know what everyone’s agreeing to

the human mind will not be able to comprehend whatever insane editorial Caroline Overington has cooked up for the weekend australian

whoa even Trent Dalton has dropped out, the tide is turning babey

there’s also a girl in a big ‘I ❤️ NY’ t shirt

it’s pretty hard that we seem to be in an age where everything sucks but is also really embarrassing

Punishing artists for (alleged) political speech hasn't worked for Creative Australia, Melbourne Symphony Orchestra, State Libraries VIC and QLD, Bendigo Writers Fest, and the ABC... but maybe it will work in Adelaide

Guy named Toby who has to workshop his short story the week after Franz Kafka: ‘Yeah I guess I would say this one’s a little Tobyesque.’

a gym is going to employ an AI coach that recommends a kind of lunge that instantly kills you

every time you hit post the computer feels pain

unfortunately there’s no other way to make one of the worst cups of coffee you’ve ever had in your life

they’re calling it The Tuesday The Bakeries Reopen

the main thing I remember I from reading Murder on the Orient Express is when Poirot mistakes 8 people stabbing the victim all at once as the work of an emotional Greek or Italian man

Seeing a large bird being chased through the sky by a tiny group of loud, smaller birds. Now that’s a sight we can all enjoy.