Me to my child: I love you!
My child: You.. have a RED eye.
17.03.2025 12:24 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Yesterday my first born said to me:
"mummy your boobies look like two big bowls of noodles".
12.02.2025 09:36 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Me: It would be really nice if I could lose a tiny bit of weight to not have to buy new clothes.
My kids nursery: Hey, have you tried..
✨ Norovirus ✨ ?
06.02.2025 10:33 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Overheard a woman working in the pharmacy saying she had more scrippy wippys (prescriptions) to deal with. I think I need to be more like hery wery.
13.01.2025 18:08 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Today one of my toddlers has been trying to convince me to drink a whole bottle of "salty and juicy" soy sauce.
08.01.2025 12:07 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
I just want everyone to know that I've started the new year with a bang by taking a vitamin tablet before bed x
01.01.2025 01:07 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
I like to get my kicks by waiting till the last few minutes of light to take the bins out. That way there is a slight risk I'll trip over in the dark.
13.12.2024 19:04 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Photographer located in St. Albert, AB, Canada.
Ambassador for @exposedwildlife.bsky.social.
Member: Canadian Conservation Photographers Collective
(he/him)
https://linktr.ee/timosborne
Internet Spaceship Pirate, makes weird rpg things sometimes.
website: https://www.machine9.net
VB Talent Management combines a decade of experience with a refreshingly personable approach to Talent Management across the industry.
Confess your sins anonymously - will the internet absolve you?
Buy show tickets 2025/6: sites.google.com/view/fesshole
Add confession b3ta.com/addfess
Buy book amazon.co.uk/s?k=very+best+of+fesshole&tag=b3ta-21
Run @robmanuel.b3ta.com
TV Critic and Broadcaster. Must Watch and The Bachelor of Buckingham Palace podcasts on BBC Sounds.
Funniest Joke Edinburgh Fringe 2019-2022. Comedian, kids book author, illustrator, Art person. All my stuff is here: https://linktr.ee/Ofalafel
A stand-up comedian and other things that are also desperate for attention.
The first picture on your vision board. I do funnies , I’m in films and tv, I write stuff. I’m a step-mum and cat owner. I’m a space cowboy and a gangster of love . https://linktr.ee/tiffstevenson
Comedian, author of Klopp Actually and Pivot, always wants some distraction…
Writer, comedian, podcaster, stone-clearer, snookerist, ventriloquist
STAND-UP COMEDIAN & COMEDY WRITER “★★★★★ Scotsman” - “★★★★★ Observer” - “★★★★★ The Herald” - “★★★★★ SGFringe" - Always On Tour. Check website for dates ⬇️
"Comedian". 2025/2026 TOUR "ANGST" - ON SALE NOW - MORE DATES via angelabarnescomedy.co.uk.
Cold War and Mid Century Modernist nerd.
The Archers obsessive
Prone to inexpert F1 ramblings.
Swims. Naps. Bunkers.
Comedian, satirist, writer, actor
An absolute thundering great berk.
Words and smiles.Partridge, Thick of It, Veep,Death of Stalin, Dr Strangelove on stage, Podcast #StrongMessageHere. https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/m0024cp6?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile Patron of Child Poverty Action Group, @cpaguk.bsky.social.
Founded MoneySavingExpert, @moneyandmentalhealth.org, (ish) the Martin Lewis Money Show ITV & Martin Lewis Podcast
"Comedian". Doom in Doctor Who. Host @mysteryontherocks.bsky.social & Long Distance, Bit Weird (https://longdistancebitweird.podbean.com)
Acting: Foundry Management VO: The Joneses
For all enquiries/brand partnerships: info@gagreflex.co.uk
she/her
Songwriter singer pianist actor writer comedian producer speaker poet wanker reader runner worrier.
https://linktr.ee/timminchin
Posts on this account are posted for me by my webfairy, Shell🧚♀️
