Ryu

I forgot I can’t… damn it. How to survive tomorrow?? Genuinely

Your voice is literally angelic this is genuinely beautiful to watch

I just want to stay home tomorrow… should I?

I’m pretty much done with a bigger art piece! It took me a bit of time but I think I’ve Never been this proud of one before. Usually I’m always disappointed because I’m so perfektionistic, but this one is genuinely great I’m so happy!!

had the same thing happen to me during my math course a few weeks back, I had a panic attack and started crying infront of the whole course. It was horrible... I hope that you are better now :(

Good luck! I hope you reach that milestone fast!

Thank you, I appreciate your care so very much! I'm always afraid I'm secretly bothering people with my problems even if theyre offering help, but I might still reach out if it's becoming unbearable, simply because I have few people to talk to at all. So thanks a lot!

I have imposter syndrome abt literally everything, I feel like I don't even belong here and that my eating disorder isnt severe enough

Redeveloping feelings for her after already having been friendzoned by her over two years ago... she's a great friend and I'm genuinely sorry for my feeligs because I know how awkward and uncomfortable that must be for her, so I'll stay quiet abt it this time. Try to ignore it.

The only thing I‘m good at besides being useless is drawing I think… younger me would’ve said even though I’m not handsome I’m smart at least and good at school, but nowadays I feel stupid, and like people think too highly of me. Academic imposter syndrome 1000.

Literally all I want is for my scale to say smth under 60. finally make the first digit a 5 and let it never go back higher and I’ll be happy. Literally even a 59.90kg would make my day. Just make the first digit be a 5.

I need to look like you soooo badly I really need to lock in. Genuinely, especially the legs are so goals!! Wtf?!

He looks goofy like always but look at him, he's so thinspo oh my God, I can't be the only one-

Idk why I'm always so sad to get "so little" interactions on here (I should be grateful anyway), I don't know what Im even expecting to happen

Wednesday, 19. 11. 2025:

Today was a 6/10, it was actually pretty nice. I ate too much but the overall day really wasnt too bad. I'm kind of tired now though so I won't be talking about it in detail. ---

Day 4: My greatest fears about weightloss

To be honest it's mostly the health issues that worry me a lot. I know I'm ruining my body right now. And I'm also scared I'll still look ugly even when I'm not longer fat, but that's not what the question was really about.

I feel like I'm gonna have to go to sleep soon or I'll hate myself tomorrow for staying up for that long.

It's like giving one child out of a class all the answers for an upcoming test, just for that child to still fail miserably on that test against all its classmates who never knew the answers beforehand. It's so pathetic.

I'm actually extra useless... I get to take ADHD meds daily which completely suppress my hunger, even making me nauseous when thinking about food. I dont need any kind of willpower or discipline to starve myself, and STILL I'm fat and cant even do that one simple thing.

I‘m talking too much about Akutagawa and not enough about my eating disorder on what is my EATING DISORDER ACCOUNT… I’m sorry everyone.

Btw, I don’t know if anyone even cares about this or knows bsd at all but just to clear that up, I both „kin“ original Akutagawa and beast Akutagawa, I just like the beast artwork a lot more. I really love beast, but I love the original just as much. They’re both absolutely me.

I'm scared I weird people out with for how obsessed I am with Akutagawa. I keep seeking similarities between us. I act like him. I genuinely want to be him. But before you are weirded out by me, l'm just a mentally unstable sad lonely guy. Let me have some joy please, don’t judge me too much. :(

They are soooo fucking delicious, golden-brown, hot, crunchy on the outside but soft and fluffy on the inside, and the filling is melting in my mouth... I'm still having regrets but it tastes so good that these regrets are minimal really

...i am so useless. Instead of going to sleep I made myself some frozen potato pockets (idk how exactly they're called)... It's almost 10 pm and I didn't eat all day, just to now ruin it all with what will probably be over 600 calories...

Wow, I have 30 mutuals already... that makes me really happy, everyone on here is genuinely so nice and amazing and I'm so happy to be here, it really helps me!

Thank you everyone!!

-outfit though, and even though it wasn't a big one I'll definitely remember it because I don't get compliments too often. I didn't eat at all today and I again drank way too little, I need to hydrate more. Tomorrow is gonna be exhausting so I'll sleep early again. That's it for today. ---

Tuesday, 18. 11. 2025:

Overall today was a 3/10. I just want to finish school already. The stressfulness of my life hasn't bettered, and my self image is getting really negative again. I have many hateful thoughts about my body and how I look, it bothers me quite a lot. I got a compliment for my-

I feel so insecure about my looks all the time. I'm not even gonna look good once I'm not fat anymore. I hate my height, I hate my face, I hate my weight, I hate my skin, I hate my body, I hate my figure, I hate my bones. I hate myself. I'm never gonna be attractive, that's just my fate.

Day 3: My thinspo

To be completely honest I don’t really consume thinspo and I don’t have a particular picture/ person that visualizes my goals, mainly because most thinspo content is thought out to be for women, so it doesn’t represent my goals and I don’t feel comfortable consuming such content.

It’s really obvious that I have problems to express myself and to put all the thousands of thoughts I have in my head into only a few words. When I write it just takes me so many words and the character limit on here is really stressing me out. It’s probably good though or I’d talk without an end-..