Paul Sims

Bass Pro Shop pyramid hotel in Memphis

Found this out yesterday, after staying the night at the Bass Pro Shop pyramid hotel in Memphis on a road trip. Not gonna lie, it was kitschy as hell and I loved it. 🐟

scrimbled eggs

Screenshot from Wikipedia: A black and white image of a racehorse with text below reading Potoooooooo British thoroughbred racehorse Potoooooooo or variations of Pot-8-Os (1773 - November 1800) was an 18th-century thoroughbred racehorse who won over 25 races and placed higher than some of the most prominent racehorses of his time. He went on to be an important sire, whose leading runners included Epsom Derby winners Waxy, Champion, and Tyrant. He is best known for the unusual spelling of his name, pronounced Potatoes.

just super stuff

New meat just dropped at Kroger

one strawberry per child sign but it’s reaper peppers

i laughed

Cane sugar schmane sugar put the cocaine back in coca cola you cowards

popeye is taking a can of something out of his pocket. not sure what it is yet

gen x smoothie bar that serves water blended with hose

This is Mako. He has no regard for law and order, and more importantly, no regrets. 13/10

It should be acceptable to use your phone in the theater to look up if the guy in the movie is the guy you think it is

We have lived a year under the tyranny of Moo Deng

Trying to come up with some old timey southern sounding idioms. So far I've got "no use shittin if you can't piss a little"

The explosion factory exploded

Bsky tip: block several annoying shitposters at once by uninstalling the app

i’m at the gym. i will lift one pound for every like this tweet gets

I'm here for a bad time, not a long time

If I got flustered in a work argument with one of my older coworkers, I'd invariably call her "mama." Every damn time.

dipping my hog in queso so your mom gets her calcium

Would u pet? Y/n

wow a new jurassic park movie you say? I wonder what will happen this time!!

I don't wanna wait

for this pie to be colder

maxell logo. seated man in profile, being blown away by loud music. drink also toppling over

This is really what it was like when you would listen to a Maxell cassette tape. It was almost 'too loud'. I remember even as a kid being like "turn down the cassette. you're going to knock over your dad's drink again. you're going to kill him"..

fine
i will do it
i will identify the bugs for u

Honestly it’s a chair and if it doesn’t work as a chair it’s a shit chair and not his fault, and ALSO “Van Gogh inspired art”? That means nothing. It means Van Gogh didn’t do it. He didn’t make the stupid chair for losers. You know what?! I’m glad the guy broke it! Fuck you chair!!

close-up shot of a gulf coast toad in profile. he's chilling on the ground with some leaves 📷📸

this guy was having the time of his life last night you can see it on his face

Selfie of Dan. He has a White Jesus look. Ooh, isn’t he handsome! He’s wearing a black and white trucker hat with his son’s handprints in red on the top and “DAD” on the brim.

Thank you to my son and his day care for this terrifying Father’s Day gift.

Taste The Moth

Image of actor Christopher Walken from the famous Saturday Night Live sketch “More Cowbell,” but with a caption reading “More Antique Camera.”

bartolo headlines were wild