Geraldine

Hey @Google, what the hell are you doing?

What better way to show the world that you deserved a Nobel Peace Prize than ... *checks notes* uhhhh, spitefully invading Greenland.

He should have been in prison after January 6th. This is what happens when you fail to hold people in power accountable.

Everything we're seeing is the act of a despot who realizes he will never face consequences for destroying democracy.

Preview of news program with title "who should be fed chair?"

Nobody. I do not think you can eat chair

The President of the United States unilaterally levied a tax on all of us and is redistributing our taxes to a core segment of his supporters.

I just don’t see how we can pretend even for a moment that anything involving our federal government is remotely normal when the president is covering up his involvement in a child sex trafficking ring. Like, what are we doing here

The most powerful people in this country are defending child rapists. Not victims. Not survivors. Rapists. This is America in 2025.

Hi!!! I will try to stay awhile. 🥰

I was at this show and I am definitely one of the blurry little dots in the background and that makes me very happy.

Oh thank you so much. This sounds lovely and I'm so happy my weird essay is a part of it. ♥️

Okay I'm honored that I sort of inspired these?!

Okay, we'll that was longer than I meant to go before trying these but anyway: round 1 of cardamom kouign amann inspired by @everywhereist.bsky.social comment in this interview. Not my best pastry work on these but happy with the first test of the flavor.

Robert Redford on the phone, plus Dustin Hoffman. From All the President’s Men

When journalism was cool. And risked everything to challenge power.

Yeah, so when one side is like, "Maybe unfettered access to guns is bad and school shootings need to be stopped and trans people deserve to exist" and the other side is like "Fuck you" this isn't a "both sides are valid" type of world anymore.

@archive.org preserved the original study, which you can find here. web.archive.org/web/20250911...

It was literally potato chips that inspired this post; like 12 potato chips.

Celeste, please, I don't want to overwhelm them so I'm just focusing on the important things.

Just seems like a good idea to do it just to be on the safe side. Eat all the dairy and all the fried.

Attention young people: please, while you are still young, do yourselves a favor and eat all of the dairy and fried food that your body can handle.

Because north of 40 you will literally be in physical pain when you try and eat these things.

Also register to vote. That's important, too.

Yes. I also felt this way about the assassinations in Minnesota. In fact, I continue to feel this way about the assassinations in Minnesota.

Awwww shucks, THANK YOU

The fact that I read we might have radioactive shrimp and I'm like, "Yeah, that tracks" tells you everything you need to know about this timeline

❤️❤️❤️

❤️

Holy cats, I'm so honored. Was it the word "porno" that set them off? 😅

If this shit were happening in another country with America's wealth and resources, we would have invaded by now.

Daniel Lawson @DanielLaw1998: Disabled parking should only be valid during business hours 9 to 5, Monday to Friday. I cannot see any reason why people with genuine disabilities would be out beyond these times. Jennifer Lee Rosman @JenLRossman: We’re disabled, Daniel, we’re not werewolves

7 years later and I still whisper, “We’re disabled, Daniel, not werewolves” to myself like a sacred mantra whenever I see a non-disabled person discover ableism like it’s the latest hipster indie band.

When a network lays off one of America’s greatest satirists, it’s not because he failed. It’s because he succeeded too loudly.

I keep seeing people say things like, “Well we’re not going to HAVE elections,” and with all due respect, I think this is both wildly pessimistic and also wildly naive.

We are not going to have free and fair elections. We also have not had them in the past.

I just need one reporter to bait him by saying he's not famous enough to be in the Epstein files and I swear he'll confess.