Justin Blackburn

Who is the likeliest Balrog to own The Cure’s entire discography and why is it Gothmog?

He could do a fishing show. Coming soon to Middle Earth’s Outdoor channel: Basssmasssterses

The deer legal team is on point with messaging

A Toyota Corolla once crashed into a 300TD and it exploded into four billion fragments

It’s been 25 years. We need to hear Mambos 1-4.

The dialog to complain about pictures on Facebook with the option “I’m in this photo and don’t like it” highlighted.

(Adds Gil Scott-Heron to the playlist)

You too!

A screenshot of a food delivery app describing "Chicken Pops" as "small, itchy blister-like bumps caused by the varicella-zoster virus; common in childhood." The "chicken pops" are McNugget-like chicken...things

babe, what's wrong? you've hardly touched your

> more cats than people

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I realized while failing to fall asleep last night that I have different “animal voices”; I talk to cats one way and to dogs another. I’m also curious what my giraffe voice would be. Would it be “HOW IS MY LONG-NECK BUDDY?” or more sedate?

I alllllllmost didn’t get this joke, but then I remembered I had a pocket full of kryptonite.

I applied for co-prince, but Andorran HR never called me back. I bet I would’ve been darling at it.

No notes. Publish it.

I’ve heard of it, but literally the only thing my brain registered about it was “It’s close to Spain.”

It is close to Spain, right?

Galactus standing at the edge of NYC with blue laser eyes, searching for Franklin. Or maybe Klondike Bars.

me checking for ice cream in the freezer at 3:37AM

I doubt he could do a 6.5 hour mile.

Spam text about unpaid vehicle tolls, from a phone number from the Philippines.

I got one of those too! The problem I had with it is that I don’t have a car.

oh no how will I get energy

Reading this and the previous skeets has given me more joy than anything has in a while and since everything sucks, I urge you to please continue

Mr. Common Law, Esq. always signed his laws with”Thank you for attention to this matter!” so I bet it’s legal

Well, this would be a relief if one of my dearest friends hadn’t just told me her family just moved back to Hawaii. They are heading to high ground already and had plenty of warning.

www.tsunami.gov/events/PAAQ/...

Hooray this sucks www.tsunami.gov?p=PHEB/2025/...

The lighting makes your pants look like they’re made out of Hypercolor material, and I am HERE FOR IT

YouTube video by The Late Show with Stephen Colbert Stephen Colbert Joins The Mountain Goats To Perform 'This Year'

@stephencolbert.bsky.social and @themountaingoats.bsky.social’s wonderful duet, popped up in my FB memories feed today. Weird timing, considering the fuckery that CBS just got up to.

Kyle Soller as Syril Karn in Andor, collapsed morosely on his bed.

Yo @rianjohnson.bsky.social in case you need a new one. It’s already in Burbank…

I (unfortunately) thought about this a little bit more and recalled that the two most powerful Jedi have either a hand or arms and legs cut off, so worrying about, you know, foreskins is definitely a viewpoint

this harms the jedi

Screenshot of a BBC News story about a luxury yacht on fire in France. The yacht is burning, probably due to the actions of arsonist orca.

the orca are stepping up their game