Tom Freeman

Earlier today I looked up media reporting from late 2024. There were doubts about Mandelson, but mostly to do with his position on China or past criticisms of Trump. Numerous mentions of his ego and past resignations, but only a few treated Epstein as a major issue. Farage was surprisingly positive.

Maybe "frequent language" means clichés?

Looking increasingly like it's going to be Rayner

Dropped an apple pip somewhere in my front room and I can't find it. I'll just have to wait till the tree starts growing in a few months and see if I want to keep it

Keir Starmer will attempt to get ahead of the widening scandal over Peter Mandelson’s conduct with the expected release of files relating to his appointment as Britain’s US ambassador, in what a minister has described as “drawing a line in the sand”.

The thing about drawing a line in the sand is that the incoming tide will just wash it away, so then you'll hastily draw another line in the sand slightly further back, and then

Presumably a relic of the fact that h-dropping used to be the preserve of the upper classes

This truly is scandalous. "An humble"?

When a journalist allows a source to ventriloquise through the "according to friends of X..." formulation, they should be asked: How many friends of X said that?

Big clunking fist

"OligarchAI's new virtual assistant, Lolita, will draft all your emails to your billionaire paedophile friends for you! So you'll never need to worry about being exposed as unable to type a simple goddamn sentence"

Very nearly missed that I'd typed "festive" rather than "restive" there

Surely the time-honoured way of getting rid of an unwanted nobleman is to despatch him to subdue a particularly restive part of Ireland with a wholly inadequate force

"Yes I did attend Noncefest, but not as a participant, I was only there to make social connections with wealthy nonces who could pay me to secretly undermine UK government policy" is not the most impressive of defences

Jesus H Cringe

The economy is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you're going to get.

Anyway, I lost my job on the BoE forecasting team

Is this a euphemism for "shat"

Also I'm pretty confident that I would have apostrophised "rogues' gallery" correctly, even after a few drinks

I'm afraid "I have no recollection" of whether I received a payment for this tip-off

Just remembered that the one time I met Mandelson I promptly emailed details of it to the press, so I probably shouldn't judge him too harshly for forwarding all that government info to Epstein

The "a" in "misconduct in a public office" sounds like they mean a particular place, not the job itself. Like shagging in the stationery cupboard of the Swindon job centre (which AFAIK Mandelson isn't currently accused of)

A novel so bad that it makes you yearn for an arrow to your eye is known as Archery

CHOTINER: So this exhaust port led straight to the main reactor?

TARKIN: Look I don't think you understand the budget constraints we were under

CHOTINER: OK, it was a big project

TARKIN: In any case, the designer turned out to be a saboteur

CHOTINER: And you say he passed your security vetting?

It's incredible to think that if each of us spent just one hour a week less on social media, we might miss something really good

Look, a chap can hardly be expected to remember every single $75,000 payment he's received from the heads of international paedophile rings

Can't believe Mandelson's defected to Reform

"Once you see it, you can't unsee it"
"So, like a normal thing then"
"Exactly"

Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly

It's incredible to think that if each of us spent just one hour a week less on social media, we might miss something really good