Matthew Beswick

Why do people who say this always look like they have way too much Neanderthal DNA?

Mom/Mum

Fruit juice and chicken is the new caviar and oysters

Not quite as cringe as Polly Toynbee but getting there

Smoking an additional cigarette for each new headline

I think calling someone your beau has become gender neutral over time, but it would depend on the person I guess. I just feel like datemate is not it. Never really had to think about it before as it's already old fashioned to say boyfriend or girlfriend really. Just say your dating

The game I'm playing has a non-binary character you can date. When you start dating their status changes to 'datemate' and as a non-binary person can I just say, 'thanks, I hate it'

Surely 'Beaufriend' was right there?

I hope she has a threesome with silver and gold and sends him the video

To misquote Nell Gwyn: Pray good people, be civil! I am friends with the councillor nonce!

Just need to transition to reach the real echelons of the liberal elite. That's where the real fetus eating money is!

😂 I've just passed this on to a friend who's in an amdram production of Shrek The Musical next week. Thank you

Solidarity with @unison.org.uk workers at the University of Bristol who are striking against a 3.4% real terms pay cut.

Since 2009 higher education pay has lost around 28% of its value.

It's time for University workers to be paid fairly.

We're all hoping for Starmer's resignation but Sarwar's resignation is a decent consolation prize

Is it me or did Bad Bunny's halftime show outfit just look like a cricket outfit?

Like Dominic Cummings, Morgan McSweeney helped deliver electoral victory but, in doing so, debased and subverted everything his party claimed to stand for.

The demo video is just that scene from the claymation film 'The Adventures of Mark Twain' about Satan

Me running up to them: thank you so much for the XXXY intersex representation!

Maybe he'll defect to Reform

0.000% of Communism has been built. Evil child-murdering billionaires still rule the world with a shit-eating grin. All he has managed to do is make himself *sad*. He is starting to suspect Kras Mazov *fucked him over* personally with his socio-economic theory.

Yes. Her and 95% of the press

It's full of lots of rape and duplicitous war tactics so maybe it really does represent white people!

Marina Hyde went for this approach too and it's like everyone has conveniently forgotten Ghislaine Maxwell and that Fergie was approached to rehabilitate Epstein's image. It's as much a rich people thing as it is a patriarchy thing but the press doesn't want to reflect on that for some reason...

Every instance of "AI democratizes the arts, you're classist and ableist and a gatekeeper for trying to stop it" is a slap in the face to the literally centuries of poor, disabled people making art on the margins and a crass lie in service of a machine that strips down and regurgitates dreams

You're disingenuous and anti-intellectual so I'm not going to lower myself to answer

An image of SpongeBob where he looks stupid. A famous meme

3) Do yOu WAnT ReFOrM?

The cope from Labour loyalists is very funny and desperate. The arguments are thin:

1) Chaos in Labour/govt would be bad for the country...too late and Starmer is the one to blame

2) he just made an error of judgement...that is enough to get a PM to resign when the error is so egregious

I have a horrible feeling I'm going to love the new Wuthering Heights...trash versions of classic works are a guilty pleasure of mine

I feel like that cartoon of someone sunbathing then having intrusive thoughts about impending climate disaster... I'll celebrate Starmer's downfall then the intrusive thought, 'whoever's next will be just as bad' takes control

What in the dime store Joker is up with that outfit?

a MENARDS store front

When you kick a pirate in the crotch